Can Grilling Indoors Ever Compare to the Real Thing?

What to eat. What not to eat.
Aug. 31 2012 3:47 AM

Indoor Grill Master

Can grilling inside an apartment ever compare to the real thing?

(Continued from Page 1)

However, having the right equipment is only half the battle; indoor grilling presents a host of other potential pitfalls that I have selflessly tumbled into for your benefit. For starters, because you’re not working in the great outdoors, smoke loses much of the romance it is normally afforded in grilling circles. I learned this lesson the hard way at a recent dinner party when I rounded the corner from kitchen to living room to find that my guests looked like coughing phantoms in a haze of the stuff. To be sure, there is no way to avoid some amount of smoke when working at high temperatures, but there are definitely ways to reduce it.

This is where protein prep comes in. By all means marinate, but be sure your meat has been patted very dry with paper towels before putting it on the grill pan. Be especially sure that no bits of minced garlic, onion, or ginger remain on the surface of the meat, as they will surely fall into the cracks between the ridges and burn to a bitter crisp. Additionally, avoid recipes that call for coarse rubs containing seeds like mustard, cumin, or coriander; these will only serve to coat your pan’s valleys with a noxious-smelling black paste. What will work, however, are dry powder rubs, which adhere tightly to meat if you rub it with a few drops of oil first.

Speaking of oil, do not glug it directly into your pan. Instead, take grilling guru Steven Raichlen’s advice and use a paper towel to lubricate only the ridges to prevent sticking, as pooled oil in the valleys interferes with the dry part of dry heat and is, in any case, very likely to burn. This is no place for olive oil; canola or grapeseed oil, with their higher smoking points, are better suited to the task.


If all these restrictions are starting to sound bland, be comforted: One of the benefits of grilling in a pan is that once your cooked meat is safely resting in a tinfoil nest to the side of the stove, you’re welcome to deglaze the pan to make a sauce, at which point you can add all those special spices you avoided in the prep phase. This is the time to bask in feelings of superiority over all those pitiable outdoor grillers who enjoy no such luxuries. (Attempting to deglaze a grill grate will inevitably end in tragedy.)

Apart from smoke, indoor grilling’s main drawback is splatter. As meat releases its fat and water content on a regular grill, these liquids fall into the heat source and are instantly resurrected as flavor-imparting vapors. On a grill pan, they rudely explode all over your stovetop, counters, cookbooks, pants … anything within a 1- to 2-foot radius, really. There’s no way to avoid this without making other sacrifices. You could, for instance, loosely cover your grilling meat with aluminum foil, but doing this for too long conjures the dreaded specter of steam. You could also compromise your grilling credentials and finish off the cooking process in the oven after an initial searing. But if you choose to go the distance, be prepared with a damp dishcloth so you can occasionally wipe things down.

As for approximating those flavor-giving vapors: Grilling purists will argue that indoor grilling simply cannot compete with the smoky deliciousness that charcoal or wood impart, and they’re right to some extent. But that doesn’t mean you can’t cheat with a little bit of creative spice hacking. Consider adding a pinch or three of smoked paprika (known in Spanish as pimentón), chipotle powder, or smoked salt to your rubs or a few drops of natural liquid smoke to your barbeque sauces. These will provide enough sooty notes to satisfy all but the pickiest of diners.

And if anyone does give you flack, inform them that they are welcome to go parry with strangers over that rusted public grill in the park. You will be waiting back in the air conditioning with your crisp rosé and perfectly seared steak for when they return with their sweat, warm beer, and precious authenticity.



Forget Oculus Rift

This $25 cardboard box turns your phone into an incredibly fun virtual reality experience.

Republicans Want the Government to Listen to the American Public on Ebola. That’s a Horrible Idea.

The 2014 Kansas City Royals Show the Value of Building a Mediocre Baseball Team

The GOP Won’t Win Any Black Votes With Its New “Willie Horton” Ad

Sleater-Kinney Was Once America’s Best Rock Band

Can it be again?


Smash and Grab

Will competitive Senate contests in Kansas and South Dakota lead to more late-breaking races in future elections?

I Am 25. I Don’t Work at Facebook. My Doctors Want Me to Freeze My Eggs.

These Companies in Japan Are More Than 1,000 Years Old

  News & Politics
The World
Oct. 21 2014 11:40 AM The U.S. Has Spent $7 Billion Fighting the War on Drugs in Afghanistan. It Hasn’t Worked. 
Oct. 21 2014 1:12 PM The Global Millionaires Club Is Booming and Losing Its Exclusivity
Atlas Obscura
Oct. 21 2014 12:40 PM Asamkirche: The Rococo Church Where Death Hides in Plain Sight
  Double X
The XX Factor
Oct. 21 2014 1:12 PM George Tiller's Murderer Threatens Another Abortion Doctor, Claims Right of Free Speech
  Slate Plus
Behind the Scenes
Oct. 21 2014 1:02 PM Where Are Slate Plus Members From? This Weird Cartogram Explains. A weird-looking cartogram of Slate Plus memberships by state.
Oct. 21 2014 12:05 PM Same-Sex Couples at Home With Themselves in 1980s America
Oct. 21 2014 10:43 AM Social Networking Didn’t Start at Harvard It really began at a girls’ reform school.
  Health & Science
Climate Desk
Oct. 21 2014 11:53 AM Taking Research for Granted Texas Republican Lamar Smith continues his crusade against independence in science.
Sports Nut
Oct. 20 2014 5:09 PM Keepaway, on Three. Ready—Break! On his record-breaking touchdown pass, Peyton Manning couldn’t even leave the celebration to chance.