When your parent won’t let your boyfriend sleep over, in this week’s Dear Prudie extra.

Help! My Mom Won’t Let My Boyfriend Sleep in My Room When We Visit.

Help! My Mom Won’t Let My Boyfriend Sleep in My Room When We Visit.

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Oct. 4 2017 12:30 PM
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Help! My Mom Won’t Let My Boyfriend Sleep in My Room When We Visit.

Dear Prudence answers more of your questions—only for Slate Plus members.

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Photo illustration by Slate. Image via Tatiana Gladskikh/Hemera.

Every week, Mallory Ortberg answers additional questions from readers, just for Slate Plus members.

Q. Visit etiquette: I’m going to bring my boyfriend of six months home to visit my mom for a few days. We’re in our mid-20s and will be staying with her. However, she’s very religious and conservative and supposedly doesn’t believe in sex before marriage, even though I know for a fact that she’s having sex now, as a divorcee, due to having found condoms in her nightstand, as well as the fact that she visits her long-distance boyfriend every month and stays at his house instead of elsewhere. So, should I let my boyfriend sleep in my bed with me, even though my mom says she doesn’t approve, by making the case that she’s a hypocrite? Or should I just go ahead and relegate him to the couch for an uncomfortable night’s rest?

A: This is a great question to ask your mother before your visit! My inclination, since this is a visit of only a few days with a relatively recent boyfriend, is to abide by whatever policies she has for her own home, whether or not you think they’re reasonable or internally consistent about pre- or nonmarital sex. If on future visits you’d rather both sleep comfortably together, you might stay in a nearby hotel or motel and see her during the day.

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