Every week, Mallory Ortberg answers additional questions from readers, just for Slate Plus members.
Q. That divorcing friend: My housemate has a friend that is going through a divorce. That friend called and wanted a place to crash after a fight. I said no, it’s my house, and my housemate pays a minimal amount to stay there. I will not have someone using my house as a free hotel because he doesn’t understand that his wife is tired of working all day, picking up the kids from day care, going home, doing chores, cooking dinner, especially when he shows up at 7:30 half in the bag. No, he is not a “great guy,” and it’s not my job to be supportive. He now thinks I am totally heartless.
Am I justified in not allowing my housemate to invite people to sleep over because it’s my house and he is not even paying half of the mortgage? I will never understand this bro support thing—it seems the more of a loser they are, the more support they need to be given. If they put half the energy into their home life as they did their bros, they wouldn’t need all that support! Am I being an over-controlling landlady or what?
A: It’s OK to say no. You said no. That’s OK.
It also sounds like at some point you might like a different housemate because you seem to resent him in the extreme, which I can’t imagine makes for a very pleasant living situation. But your current question, namely whether it is OK to say “no” to a guest you don’t like in your own home who may very well try to wrangle a semi-permanent living situation out of an invitation? Yeah, it’s OK. If your housemate thinks you’re heartless for it, that’s not your problem.