Every week, Mallory Ortberg answers additional questions from readers, just for Slate Plus members.
Q. Kilt wedding: My boyfriend of five years recently proposed, and we are planning to get married early next year. He has shown no interest in the wedding planning and has told me to do what I want.
There is one exception. He said he was going to pick his own formal wear. I was fine with all of this. Then he sent me pictures of what he and his groomsmen picked out. They are going to be wearing kilts. I was horrified and told him in no uncertain terms that this was not going to happen. He said he was wearing a kilt or there would not be a wedding. We are kind of stuck here. Do you see a way out?
A: I do see a way out! You told your fiancé you were fine with whatever sort of formal wear he wanted to wear for the wedding, and he has chosen, presumably, a formal kilt-and-suit combination. You don’t mention any sort of concern about any misplaced connection to Scottish heritage on your fiancé’s part, so I imagine you’re primarily concerned about the idea of a man choosing to wear something other than pants. I don’t think that’s a good reason to react with horror or to forbid him something. I encourage you to revisit the topic together and to listen to him with an open mind when he talks about why he wants to wear one.
