Invite him. I agree with you that the world is changing and often it is one wedding at a time. Ever since the emergence of homo sapiens, every family has had homosexuals. But until recently many of them were closeted, in heterosexual marriages, or were the confirmed bachelor cousin or spinster aunt. But now gay and lesbian family members are living openly and entering same-sex marriages, and people who oppose marriage equality for gays are having to address it on the most personal level. (Here’s an article about politicians whose minds have been changed by loved ones.) Perhaps your uncle believed in his stance, or maybe it was political expediency. But even if he was a true opponent, give him the opportunity to show that he’s open to considering that he was wrong. If he declines your invitation, so be it. But if he comes, your graciousness and happiness will be your most potent argument.
I am a 19-year-old girl who is an identical triplet. All of us are tall, thin, and have curly red hair. We all attend the same state university because it’s cheapest for our parents. Both of my sisters met their boyfriends within the first month of school and are in committed relationships. I don’t have a boyfriend, although I’ve dated a few guys. The problem is that people don't know we're identical triplets, so they think they see one red-haired girl holding hands with one guy, then a few days later they see her kissing another guy, and a few days after that they see her with the first guy. Then they see me with different guys. People have started treating us nastily because of this. I’ve had people come up to me and threaten to tell my “boyfriend” I’m cheating on him. I'm considering transferring because of this even though it would be a lot more expensive. What should we do?
The first week of school the three of you should march to your college newspaper and tell them you have a story for them. Your picture together and your funny anecdotes should soon be splashed all over the front page. Within a few days, instead of being called the scarlet woman, expect to hear, “Hey Red, which one are you?”
More Dear Prudence Columns
“Past Imperfect: I want to bury my wretched childhood, but the new in-laws insist on a rehash.” Posted Aug. 18, 2011.
“Fibber McGee Comes Clean: Prudie advises an elderly man consumed with shame over his chronic lies.” Posted Aug. 11, 2011.
“Take My Wife, Please: I convinced her to bed another man, and now I'm insanely jealous.” Posted Aug. 4, 2011.
“A Minor Flaw: I'm dating a man who was charged with soliciting a teen for sex; I wish I'd never discovered this!” Posted July 28, 2011.
More Dear Prudence Chat Transcripts
“The Nudist Next Door: Dear Prudence advises a reader whose new neighbor needs better curtains—during a live chat at Washingtonpost.com.” Posted Sept. 6, 2011.
“Type "R" for Revenge: Dear Prudence advises a woman who got her cheating ex fired by sending a nasty email—in a live chat at Washingtonpost.com.” Posted Aug. 29, 2011.
“Sexy Cougar or Dangerous Predator?: Dear Prudence offers advice about a May-December encounter that the victim deems harmless—during a live chat at Washingtonpost.com.” Posted Aug. 8, 2011.
“Baby Blues: Dear Prudence advises a woman who regrets adopting a child—in a live chat at Washingtonpost.com.” Posted Aug. 1, 2011.