Your step-granddaughter may have more than her allotment of grandparents, but how it will sting to have Gran and Gramps come to pick up her brother and leave her behind. Sure, adults can explain the difference between blood relatives and the other kind, but when stepchildren are lucky enough to be brought into loving new family, they stop feeling like the other kind. As your son’s baby grows up, you will want him to adore his older brother and sister, not think of them as having asterisks because they’re not his full siblings. Shelling out $300 seems like a small price to pay to make clear that no matter how they got there, you don’t make distinctions among the people who call you Gran.
I wrote to you a few weeks ago about a creepy math tutor who had behaved inappropriately toward me and other teens. I wanted to let you know that after mustering up my courage, I contacted the police and was pleasantly surprised at how promptly and seriously they responded. They took both a written and recorded statement, and were very detailed (and sensitive!) in their questions about the incidents. They also interviewed the teens whom the tutor approached this year and took their statements, as well. To my utter shock, the police also informed me that after running the tutor's name through the police database, it turns out that you were right—he really did have a prior history of inappropriate behavior. Though neither my complaint nor the others’ are major enough to warrant any charges so far, the police commended me in helping put yet another piece of the puzzle into place. I am now telling parents to pull their kids out of his classes and to ask their kids if he's done anything untoward to them. Because I finally reported him, he is just that much closer to being caught.
Thanks so much for this update and for letting us know how valuable it is to report such incidents. Even if a single case is not actionable, you can help the authorities put together a file that might stop such predators.
More Dear Prudence Columns
“A Minor Flaw: I'm dating a man who was charged with soliciting a teen for sex; I wish I'd never discovered this!” Posted July 28, 2011.
“Cat Got Your Tongue?: A woman involved in the mysterious disappearance of a feline doesn't know whether to cover up or confess.” Posted July 21, 2011.
“Almost Famous: My rock-star ex wants his sexy photos back. Should I relent or play hardball?” Posted July 14, 2011.
“An Innocent Man: An ex-girlfriend falsely claimed I raped her. How do I reveal this hurtful incident to future love interests?” Posted July 7, 2011.
More Dear Prudence Chat Transcripts
“Confronting the Queen Bees: Dear Prudence advises a teen who longs to stand up to her cruel classmates but fears retaliation—in a live chat at Washingtonpost.com.” Posted July 25, 2011.
“Bozo Boyfriend's Nose-Job Nightmare: Dear Prudence advises a man who convinced his girlfriend to have plastic surgery that left her disfigured.” Posted July 18, 2011.
“Should a Former Hottie Burn the Evidence?: Dear Prudence advises a woman whose ex-husband took nudie pictures of her and still has them—during a live chat at Washingtonpost.com.” Posted July 11, 2011.
“Boyfriend Is Thick as a Brick: Dear Prudence advises a woman who is reluctant to wed her dim-bulb suitor—during a live chat at Washingtonpost.com.” Posted July 5, 2011.
TODAY IN SLATE
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Why Do Some People See the Virgin Mary in Grilled Cheese?
The science that explains the human need to find meaning in coincidences.
Happy Constitution Day!
Too bad it’s almost certainly unconstitutional.