Help! My Daughter’s Teacher Is Knocked Up and Single.

Advice on manners and morals.
Feb. 27 2012 3:05 PM

My Daughter’s Teacher Is Unwed and Knocked Up

In a live chat, Dear Prudence advises a mother worried about the influence of her young daughter’s single, pregnant teacher.

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Q. Re: High School: I have no idea if this applies, but ... when I was in high school I had this happen to me. The guy had been borderline abusive during the relationship, and it got really scary afterward. Please, please, please tell your high school counselor. Now. They need to know. And tell your mom that she needs to cut it out. My mom still talks about that guy (I'm 35), even after I told her that he had tried to break my car windows out and threw stuff at me constantly (which is a whole other post).

A:
How can a parent not be alarmed when her daughter is being abused by a boyfriend? You are absolutely right this girl needs help, now. She should also tell the people at the school that her mother doesn't understand what's going on, and Mom should be brought in to get an earful.

Q. Sympathy for Twins: Plant the trees yourself, if you want, and tell them about it, or send a picture. Don't give them a task to accomplish at this time in their lives.

A:
I'm assuming the letter writer was talking about organizations that plant trees in someone's honor or as a memorial, then send a card. Of course, no one should receive a set of trees to plant.

Q. "Tupperware Party" Ambush: A new co- worker recently invited me to a house party. I have had trouble making friends since I moved to a new town, so I accepted. When I arrived at her house I discovered I had been invited to a "sales party." My co-worker spent the evening demonstrating the benefits of a line of cosmetics and lotions she sells. I could not afford (and furthermore did not want to buy) any of her products, and I felt put on the spot when she really pressured me to buy something. I left her house on bad terms, but the next day at work she joked, "Next time, come prepared!" She wants me to come to her next party and is having trouble taking no for an answer. What should I say?

A:
She's going to have to take it because you're not showing. "I'm sorry, I can't come" is all you should say. You can repeat it ad nauseum. And if she makes life in the office a hassle due to her moonlighting, you can mention to human resources that people in the office are being solicited hard to support someone's other job. 

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Q. Photo Booth Reveals an Affair: My husband and I hired a photo booth for our friends to use at our wedding. Last Saturday we received a CD with all of our guests' pictures on it. Much to our surprise, we found three strips’ worth of pictures showing two people engaged in a sex act. (Think Bill and Monica.) What makes things even more awkward is that these people are both married but not to each other. The two couples are good friends of my husband's, and now he feels like he's been placed in this horrifically awkward position. We think we should destroy the pictures, but do we have any obligations after that?

A:
Part of me wants to give props to anyone flexible enough to carry off a sex act in a photo booth. I wonder if your friends thought the flashing lights were just part of an extra-special orgasm. Destroying the pictures is a good idea along with saying nothing.

Q: Thanks, everyone. Talk to you next week.