Dear Prudence on a woman who breast-feeds her 5-year-old in public—and other questions in a live chat at Washingtonpost.com.

Emily Yoffe, aka Dear Prudence, is on Washingtonpost.com weekly to chat live with readers. An edited transcript of this week's chat is below. (Sign up here to get Dear Prudence delivered to your inbox each week. Read Prudie's Slate columns here. Send questions to Prudence at prudence@slate.com.)

Emily Yoffe: I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and you're all still talking to your relatives. I had so much sauerkraut — it was a great day.

Breastfeeding a Big Kid: Four months ago my brother got married to a woman who has a 5-year-old son from a previous relationship. Since they had a private ceremony, we did not meet his new wife and stepson until Dad's 80th birthday, when they flew over to see us. Things were going well until my new nephew walked over to where the adults were eating dessert and told my SIL that he was thirsty. She whipped out her breast at the dining table and proceeded to breastfeed her son. Although nobody said anything, she sensed we were shocked and casually explained her son had allergies and this was the only healthy milk option for him. Since our mom is not around, my other brothers and Dad are urging me to intervene. My brother, the one who married her, does not seem to care much. Should I say anything to her? How do I start such a conversation?

A: I'm trying to imagine the shiver that might go through your entire family if your brother ever hosts a brunch at his home and his new wife passes around the cream for the coffee. At the risk of bringing down the wrath of La Leche League, 5 years old is way too old to still be on mommy's breast. By the time the kid can say, "Mom, you've been eating too much garlic and it's upsetting my stomach," you know it's time to throw away the nursing bra. Showing too much cleavage to your new husband's family would be ill-advised the first time you all met. Lactating at the dessert table takes inappropriate to a new level. You say your brother "does not seem to care much" about this, which doesn't make clear what kind of conversation you've had with him. You need to say, "Bro, we're so happy you've found Fiona. We're sorry her son has food allergies, but we need to let you know we all have a dairy allergy. That is, we'd appreciate if you'd ask her to breast feed in private." If he won't take action, then at the next gathering, as she starts to unbutton, all of you should feel free to stampede away from the table. Let's hope for her son's sake she finds him a milk substitute. It would be bad for him socially if she had to come and give him nourishment to get him through his SATs.

When Grandpa Says the ___ Word: Over Thanksgiving my conservative ornery father used a number of racial and sexually oriented slurs. My college age daughter heard him use one, and she called him on it. She said, "Grandpa, those words are offensive, and when you use them, you sound ignorant and bigoted." My dad blew up at her and kicked her out of the house. This resulted in my family and my brother's family leaving. My sister and her family stayed. Unfortunately, based on the slurry of emails that have began circling over the weekend, I think this will be a divisive family issue. My sister's family essentially agree with my daughter but feel that she should have been more respectful. My brother's family and mine are embarrassed that it took a girl more than half our age to call out our father's unacceptable terminology. Do you think anything can be done to heal this situation, and who do you think did the right thing?

A: It's promising that everyone agrees with your daughter. Brava to her for calling out Grandpa. But it would have been more effective if she'd said, "Grandpa, those words are offensive and when you use them it makes me want to leave the room." That way she would have been drawing attention to the effect of his bigotry on her, not calling him names. Since your daughter sounds like a brave young woman, she might consider being the one to address this issue. She could contact your father and say that while she stands by her objection to use of racial and sexual language, she apologizes for the way she phrased it. That gives Grandpa a chance to lick his wounds and change his ways. And then the whole family can open a discussion about making Christmas a slur-free holiday.

Sex Is a stumbling block: My wife and I have been together for eight years. We regularly had sex until three years ago, when we got married. Almost immediately after we were married, my wife told me that we couldn't have sex anymore as she entered therapy for abuse that her father committed to her when she was a child. I'm confused, hurt, and feel that she was less than honest entering into our relationship; it seems as though she hid this until we were lawfully wed and then it was too late for me to back out. I've tried to be supportive for the last three years ... I've respected her request for abstaining from sex and physical intimacy, but although she has regular therapy and the therapist says she's progressing, I see no end to this situation or any signs of improvement. Am I wrong to question whether this marriage is worth it or not?

A: I hope you've had some serious talks these past three years about why she wanted to marry you, why she withheld this crucial information, and what she feels her obligations to this marriage are. It's terrible that your wife was abused by her father (let's assume that is true), but she has pulled quite a switcheroo on you. As soon as you became her husband, she decided to punish you for the sins of her father. That therapist has quite a nice sinecure going: three years of payments and no end in sight since there seems to be no clear goal for this treatment. It sounds as if they've got you so brainwashed that you feel you're not allowed to state that you had no intention of entering a celebate marriage and your needs are not being considered or met. I think you should insist on a joint session with the therapist, or a few sessions with a couples therapist, just to try to figure out if resuming conjugal relations is even on your wife's agenda. If nothing changes in short order, I think the most helpful professional for you will be a divorce lawyer. 

Not on Our Own Bed: My husband and I have a small matter of opinion that you might be able to resolve. My husband and I spend Thanksgiving and Christmas at his parents’ house with his brother and sisters. When we are over there I don't feel comfortable having sex in his parents' guest room. We already have a very active sex life. He states that it is the holiday spirit, and we should be celebrate that we are together. He has offered to get a hotel to stay at, but I enjoy getting up early to bond and help my MIL with the cooking. (My mother died many years back and his folks have practically adopted me.) His sisters have affectionately been banned from the kitchen after they flamb'd the ham a few years back. Any can you see any solution?

A: A little delayed gratification never hurt anyone. I'm assuming your husband doesn't insist on opening the presents that are underneath the tree before December 25. You love your in-laws! You and your husband have a great sex life! All this is should cause him to celebrate and realize he doesn't actually have to make his happiness manifest while you are visiting his parents. He should understand that your worrying about your in-laws hearing your bed frame squeaking diminishes your holiday spirit. 

Foul-Mouthed Grandpa: I have an uncle who uses such terminology (fortunately we don't see him that often). We have asked him before not to use such slurs, but nothing worked until we started silently walking away from him (mid-sentence) without warning or excuses the moment he "slips up". Let’s just say he dislikes this so much he has started curbing his dirty talk.

A: Excellent solution.

Grandfather's Diary: My grandfather recently passed away after a long and happy life. It was his time, so we are sad but also relieved he's no longer in pain. I've been cleaning up his home before it gets put on the market and I came across volumes and volumes of his old journals which he kept meticulously since he was a young man. I am really curious about what is in it but feel guilty about taking a peek. He has always been a very private person and I know his diary would have been one outlet that he vented all his feelings and intimate thoughts. My brother thinks we should respect his privacy and keep it closed, but a few of my cousins think it's a good piece of family history to preserve. We're debating what to do with the journals. Should we look?

A: Since your grandfather lived to be an old man he certainly had time to decide what to do with his diaries. If he wanted his writing to disappear with him, he could easily have disposed of them. He also could have made a request that he'd prefer they not be read until some amount of time after his death. But he left them on the shelf, neatly arranged, calling out (at least to some of you), "Read me!" I say go ahead. If you feel the content is too raw or grandfather's presence is too close, then put the volume back on the shelf. But it just may be that for future generations your grandfather will be a kind of American Samuel Pepys.