Dear Prudence: My Wife Doesn’t Want Sex, So I Visit Prostitutes. Should I Stop?

Advice on manners and morals.
Oct. 6 2011 10:05 AM

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

My wife doesn’t want sex frequently, so I visit prostitutes. Should I stop?

(Continued from Page 1)

Dear Wounded,
You and your grown son see each other frequently and talk just about every week. That means there’s a lot of affection between the two of you, but maybe it’s getting a bit suffocating for your son. Of course that stray email hurt, but it hardly means your son wants you out of his life. It's likely he was telling the truth—that whatever he and his girlfriend had planned had to be scrapped because of your visit. It would have been better for you to have sent the email back with a deadpan, “Glad to hear you’re looking forward to my visit.” Then your son would have apologized, you two would have had a laugh, and he probably would have been a very attentive host. He still should apologize, but to get past this impasse, be the one to say you've blown this out of proportion and would like to drop it. Tell him you want to reschedule your visit, but only for a time that's really convenient and definitely not "Arg."


Dear Prudence,
A friend has been organizing her 24th birthday "weekend." There will be a big party Friday night at a bar with about 40 friends, followed by a girls’ night on Saturday at a sketchy bar for dancing. She informed me that she would crash at my apartment Saturday since it's walking distance from the bar, and she'll be too drunk to drive. (She drinks a lot, and occasionally I end up being her baby-sitter.) My boyfriend and I can see each other only on the weekend, and I’m not comfortable going to the bar my friend picked. I asked her whether it would be OK if my boyfriend and a few of our guy friends joined us on Saturday. She got all pouty and told our other friends about my suggestion. They said I was wrong because it was her birthday and she should get to celebrate how she wants. I can't even back out now since she's staying at my place. Was I way out of line asking whether boys could come to girls’ night?

—It’s Her Party


Dear Party,
I assume that when the queen of England turns 90 she will get an entire birthday weekend, and I won’t begrudge her. But for people in their 20s, give me a break. It’s fine for your friend to throw herself a celebration and it sounds as if many of your gang are looking forward to this 48-hour bacchanal. But it’s not a command performance, and if you’re uncomfortable with a venue, give your regrets about Saturday. You’ll just have to miss fun activities your friend is planning, like the “wipe the vomit off my shoes” game. If she’s the kind of person who thinks a good time is making you responsible for her safety while she loses control of her faculties, that's another reason. Tell her she’s welcome to crash at your place at the end of the night, and you’ll be listening for her knock.




The World’s Politest Protesters

The Occupy Central demonstrators are courteous. That’s actually what makes them so dangerous.

The Religious Right Is Not Happy With Republicans  

The XX Factor
Oct. 1 2014 4:58 PM The Religious Right Is Not Happy With Republicans  

The Feds Have Declared War on Encryption—and the New Privacy Measures From Apple and Google

The One Fact About Ebola That Should Calm You

It spreads slowly.

These “Dark” Lego Masterpieces Are Delightful and Evocative


Operation Backbone

How White Boy Rick, a legendary Detroit cocaine dealer, helped the FBI uncover brazen police corruption.


Talking White

Black people’s disdain for “proper English” and academic achievement is a myth.

Activists Are Trying to Save an Iranian Woman Sentenced to Death for Killing Her Alleged Rapist

Piper Kerman on Why She Dressed Like a Hitchcock Heroine for Her Prison Sentencing

  News & Politics
Oct. 1 2014 7:26 PM Talking White Black people’s disdain for “proper English” and academic achievement is a myth.
Oct. 1 2014 2:16 PM Wall Street Tackles Chat Services, Shies Away From Diversity Issues 
Oct. 1 2014 6:02 PM Facebook Relaxes Its “Real Name” Policy; Drag Queens Celebrate
  Double X
The XX Factor
Oct. 1 2014 5:11 PM Celebrity Feminist Identification Has Reached Peak Meaninglessness
  Slate Plus
Behind the Scenes
Oct. 1 2014 3:24 PM Revelry (and Business) at Mohonk Photos and highlights from Slate’s annual retreat.
Brow Beat
Oct. 1 2014 9:39 PM Tom Cruise Dies Over and Over Again in This Edge of Tomorrow Supercut
Future Tense
Oct. 1 2014 6:59 PM EU’s Next Digital Commissioner Thinks Keeping Nude Celeb Photos in the Cloud Is “Stupid”
  Health & Science
Oct. 1 2014 4:03 PM Does the Earth Really Have a “Hum”? Yes, but probably not the one you’re thinking.
Sports Nut
Oct. 1 2014 5:19 PM Bunt-a-Palooza! How bad was the Kansas City Royals’ bunt-all-the-time strategy in the American League wild-card game?