Dear Prudence: My girlfriend's nose job left her disfigured.

Advice on manners and morals.
July 18 2011 3:26 PM

Bozo Boyfriend's Nose-Job Nightmare

Dear Prudence advises a man who convinced his girlfriend to have plastic surgery that left her disfigured.

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Emily Yoffe, aka Dear Prudence, is on Washingtonpost.com weekly to chat with readers about their romantic, family, financial, and workplace problems. An edited transcript of this week's chat is below. (Get Dear Prudence delivered to your inbox each week; click here to sign up. Read Prudie's Slate columns here. Send questions to Prudence at prudence@slate.com.)

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A: Everyone is entitled to be called by the name they want, but you've apparently let this nickname run for a couple of decades. Maybe at the next big family gathering make an announcement that while you loved it when your baby nephew called you "Nan" it's long past time you reclaimed Katherine, and you'd appreciate it if they'd call you that. Then gently remind them when they "forget." But when they introduce you to others, feel free to say, "I'm actually Katherine. Nan's an old family nickname."

Q. Re: Perfect Baby: The kid sleeps from 8 p.m. to 10 a.m. and has two naps every day? At nine months? She can't be awake more than eight hours a day. Is that normal? I mean, it's obviously not "normal," seeing as this mother has her super-special "perfect" baby. But, I mean, health-wise ... is that normal? The above comment was said without any traces of snark intended. The name cannot be said of the following comment: Given how much the kid sleeps, I find it hard to believe this mother also needs grandmother-assisted "me" time every day as well. Seriously.

A: So, mother of "Perfect Baby," a couple of posters have raised the question of whether your child is sleeping too much and suggest you check it out.

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Q. Too Fast, For Sure: I just started dating a wonderful guy a month ago. In an ideal world, we'd date for at least a year before we considered moving in together and making long term plans for marriage, kids, etc. In reality, though, I am unemployed and have to move out of my apartment next month. Though we both acknowledge it is less than ideal, he has offered to let me move in with him, and has a spare bedroom if I'd prefer. My only other option is to bounce from friend's couch to friend's couch until I find a job. Is it worse to put such pressure on a relationship too soon, or to be effectively homeless while someone you like is offering a needed hand?

A: Bounce. Sadly, millions of people are in your awful situation. A bedroom offered by a "wonderful guy" with whom you could see spending your future might seem tempting. But moving in is likely to blow this up before it even starts, then you'll be nursing a broken heart and an unemployment check.

Emily Yoffe: Thanks, everyone. Stay cool, and talk to you next week.

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Emily Yoffe is the author of What the Dog Did: Tales From a Formerly Reluctant Dog Owner. You can send your Dear Prudence questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. (Questions may be edited.)

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