Prudie counsels a woman whose partner desires more frequent lovemaking than she does—and other advice seekers.

Emily Yoffe: Good afternoon, everyone. I was so excited to see a crocus today!

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Washington, D.C.: What is the average number of times per week couples have sex and for how long? My S.O. seems to think most couples have sex twice a day for at least one hour. For him, 30 minutes is a quickie, anything else is a waste of time. It would be interesting to hear from others. His idea is that there are women who have sex for one hour or more, exercise, work, and even have families to look after. I am in the minority here who finds sex physically tiring, especially when orgasm is included, too. Our relationship is more than 20 years old.

Emily Yoffe: ... Hey, sorry, I almost didn't make it to the chat because, like most long-married women, I spend most of my time having sex with my husband. It's funny, isn't it, that I bet most people fancy themselves as having some expertise at sex, but we know nothing about what goes on in other people's bedrooms. However, I will say with almost no fear of contradiction that what is going on is not two-plus hours of daily sex. I can show you a raft of Prudie letters to back up this assertion. Also, you'd think that if that's what Americans were doing, we'd probably be a lot fitter, and that those surveys which show how people spend their time would have huge, mysterious gaps in them. If you are dreading the next orgasm, something is seriously wrong. Maybe your S.O. needs a hobby, and you should get him a woodworking set, or a computer and a subscription to a porn site, or something that will get him off your back and you off yours.

Dear Prudence Video: My Love-Hate Cousins

Springfield, Mass.: I am a divorced woman in my late 50s. I work full time and have a 10-year-old child who I share custody of—so I am busy. For the last couple of years, I have been dating men that I have met through an online dating site. These men have mostly been nice guys, and several of them have been interested in getting closer. Since these men are my age, give or take, they are not in the best physical shape, which I understand. I am no spring chicken myself and carry five to 10 pounds more than my ideal. But a man with a big, round stomach is a total turnoff to me sexually. I tried ignoring it in the first man, but I couldn't. And I have just stopped seeing other men after a few dates if they have a big belly. It sounds superficial of me, but I want to have a good sexual relationship with a partner and find that a big stomach gets in the way of (literally) the area of his body that I would rather focus on. Do you have any tips for me? There is a man right now that I like and have much in common with. We are at the stage where I need to allow more closeness or back away. When I see him sitting on the sofa with his outy belly button showing through his shirt, I am not excited by the prospect of closer contact. Can I tell him this? Help!

Emily Yoffe: Are there any dating sites that specialize in lugers or alpine skiers? They are in great shape. You are asking me either for tips on how to find gorgeously fit guys in their late 50s who are interested in somewhat flabby women in their late 50s, or for tips on how to get someone else to lose weight. Do you really think anyone has the answer to that? Since any guy you're interested in is going to have to overlook the depredations age has brought to you, you must have the same generosity of spirit and overlook theirs. Then if you really connect, you could possibly be having sex for one to two hours a day—and think of the shape you'll both be in!

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Hyattsville, Md.: I work as a secretary, and I have to compile various reports for which staff have to turn in info by a certain deadline. There are one or two people who are ALWAYS late (thus causing me to turn in my report late). I send them e-mails and reminders, and bug them, and also talk to their supervisors. Their supervisors say things like, "Send them a nasty e-mail." At some point, should the supervisors make it their responsibility to supervise and get their staff to turn in the work by the deadlines? How can I stop feeling resentful? If people forget occasionally, I can understand, but being late every single time comes across to me as a lack of respect for me and disregard for my being unable to perform my work on time.

Emily Yoffe: Your work is being held hostage to the procrastinators, but is there a way to disentangle yourself from them? Sit down with the supervisors and explain that making deadlines is very important to you, but you are unable to meet your goal because of some chronically late people. Then ask if you can prepare reports which indicate some data is missing because not all of it was filed. The supervisors should not be making you the office nag. You need to ask them to set up a system in which either the data does come in, or you are able to proceed with what information you have.

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Washington, D.C.: A subscription to a porn site? So he can obsess even more about what he's not getting? I think that's poor advice. They should explore where his expectations come from, with a counselor—it's got to be more than sex; more like what that type of frequency and attention means to him in terms of deeper needs that are unacknowledged that he's not addressing.

Emily Yoffe: Yes, I agree counseling is in order. But I'm serious about this guy watching some porn. Let him use technology to offload some of his sex obsession so that his partner has time to do her nails, or pay the bills, or read a book. It's hard to believe porn would make him more interested in sex than he already is.

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Oak Park, Ill.: I recently reconnected with an old friend. We have met several times, and I've enjoyed the visits, although we live about 90 minutes apart. She mentioned that she was throwing a huge costume party for Halloween, which is also her birthday. She also sent me a "save the date" card. The costume party has a theme, and she wants us all to come dressed for the theme. To put it bluntly, I'm not interested. I don't want to make/rent/buy a costume, and I wouldn't feel comfortable at a party where she is the only person I know. Since she's given me so much advance warning, what excuse can I give? She is very, very excited about this party, and I'm totally not into it.