Dear Prudence chats live with readers at

Advice on manners and morals.
Feb. 8 2010 2:38 PM

Help! I'm Too Hot for My Age

Prudie counsels a woman whose youthful looks bring her nothing but problems—and other advice seekers.

Emily Yoffe, aka Dear Prudence, is on weekly to chat with readers about their romantic, family, financial, and workplace problems. A transcript of this week's chat is below. (Read Prudie's Slate columns here.)

(Continued from Page 3)

Emily Yoffe: Let me state that I deplore violence, but I wish I'd been there to see your husband do his Russell Crowe on your brother-in-law's camera! It's a good thing he did it, too, or else millions might be enjoying the YouTube video of said lady parts. I'm glad you've been able to let it go. I agree a meeting to clear the air might help, but it's a bad idea to put the pre-condition that they have to "behave themselves forever." It's better to go into one of these summits simply with the desire to have them hear why you feel as you do. Dictating how they should respond is likely to prolong the difficulties.


Washington, D.C.: The mom who hates her in-laws—I'd also point out that she gave in at the hospital. She didn't stand her ground. That's not their fault. If she wanted to stand up to them, she should've, but she didn't, so it's time to get over it. For reals. That is anger way out of proportion to the offense.

Emily Yoffe: It's hard to stand your ground when you're on your back pushing out the newest family member. Whatever the in-laws did, they should not have done. And when your cervix is dilating, you should be exempt from having to defend yourself from intrusive in-laws.



New York, NY: Re: Cleveland, whose friend is getting married...

My friends did the same thing for me before my wedding, and I really did think that no one cared about me before the "big day." Although it was a wonderful surprise when it happened, and I did really enjoy myself at their well-planned party, I spent the couple of weeks before my wedding re-thinking years of (wonderful) friendship, because I thought that they didn't care enough about me to plan anything. So I think you guys should re-think your plans

Emily Yoffe: This is exactly the problem with the surprise bachelorette party. To carry it off, all the friends have to pretend they are totally busy with their own lives and not planning anything for the bride. The surprise is not worth the hurt feelings that will build up beforehand.


Emily Yoffe: Thanks, everyone. Talk to you next week—after I dig out of the avalanche.



More Than Scottish Pride

Scotland’s referendum isn’t about nationalism. It’s about a system that failed, and a new generation looking to take a chance on itself. 

What Charles Barkley Gets Wrong About Corporal Punishment and Black Culture

Why Greenland’s “Dark Snow” Should Worry You

If You’re Outraged by the NFL, Follow This Satirical Blowhard on Twitter

The Best Way to Organize Your Fridge


The GOP’s Focus on Fake Problems

Why candidates like Scott Walker are building campaigns on drug tests for the poor and voter ID laws.

Sports Nut

Giving Up on Goodell

How the NFL lost the trust of its most loyal reporters.

Is It Worth Paying Full Price for the iPhone 6 to Keep Your Unlimited Data Plan? We Crunch the Numbers.

Farewell! Emily Bazelon on What She Will Miss About Slate.

  News & Politics
Sept. 16 2014 7:03 PM Kansas Secretary of State Loses Battle to Protect Senator From Tough Race
Sept. 16 2014 4:16 PM The iPhone 6 Marks a Fresh Chance for Wireless Carriers to Kill Your Unlimited Data
The Eye
Sept. 16 2014 12:20 PM These Outdoor Cat Shelters Have More Style Than the Average Home
  Double X
The XX Factor
Sept. 15 2014 3:31 PM My Year As an Abortion Doula
  Slate Plus
Slate Plus Video
Sept. 16 2014 2:06 PM A Farewell From Emily Bazelon The former senior editor talks about her very first Slate pitch and says goodbye to the magazine.
Brow Beat
Sept. 16 2014 8:43 PM This 17-Minute Tribute to David Fincher Is the Perfect Preparation for Gone Girl
Future Tense
Sept. 16 2014 6:40 PM This iPhone 6 Feature Will Change Weather Forecasting
  Health & Science
Medical Examiner
Sept. 16 2014 11:46 PM The Scariest Campfire Story More horrifying than bears, snakes, or hook-handed killers.
Sports Nut
Sept. 15 2014 9:05 PM Giving Up on Goodell How the NFL lost the trust of its most loyal reporters.