Prudie offers holiday advice on demanding divas, inappropriate presents, and preachy relatives.

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Dear Prudence,
My sister is going to be visiting me and my family for the holidays, which is great. However, she recently reminded me that I'd have to ship all of her gifts to her home because she doesn't check luggage. I was really looking forward to her arrival, but this seemingly small issue has me simmering with resentment. Sure, she's my little sister, but she is now in her 30s! My husband and I are both professionals with demanding jobs and little free time. Her refusal to check baggage because she doesn't want to be inconvenienced at the airport has me steaming. She says that it shouldn't make any difference that she doesn't want to take her gifts on the plane because if she weren't coming, I would have to ship them anyway. Her sense of entitlement is making me feel bah humbug! Am I wrong?

—Waiting in the Cold

Dear Waiting,
Take comfort that you will not be the only person who begins this week filled with anticipation for the arrival of a beloved sibling and ends it filled with anticipation for the departure of a beloved sibling. As I lay out here, these conflicting feelings may be particularly acute during the holidays, but they have existed for as long as there have been brothers and sisters. You say, "Sure, she's my little sister," which indicates she expects to be indulged and cared for by Big Sis. That may have made sense when she was a toddler, but you're right, a woman in her 30s is probably capable of figuring out how to transport her own gifts. So explain that you know waiting for luggage can be a hassle, but that you've got such a heavy workload coming up that you won't be able to ship gifts for her. Then you can lay out several alternatives. You can offer to loan Sis your car after Christmas so she can drive to the post office and mail the gifts to herself. Or you can suggest a nearby sporting-goods store where she can buy a duffle bag to carry her haul to the airport and check it. Or you can tell her that if she refuses to take care of her own gifts, you will have to put them aside until you find the time to mail them—and you hope to get to that sometime before her next Christmas visit.

—Prudie

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Dear Prudence,
Last month, I started seriously dating a woman I've known for many years. We live several hours apart, and this past weekend when I was visiting, we came home to find some presents at her door. As she was opening the gifts—lotion and perfume—she got a text, which made her laugh, from the man who had left them. I asked who he was, and she explained he was a friend from church. I asked whether he knew she and I were dating, and she said she didn't know. Then she asked me not to mention the gifts to any of her friends, because this guy is married. I said I didn't think it was a good idea that a married man was giving her perfume and lotion. She said it was OK because he "gives lots of money to the church." I asked her to return the gifts to him, and she said that would be rude. Then I suggested she donate the gifts to charity. She said she'd give them to her sister. But I found out she kept the perfume and said I was just being too sensitive. So how do I prepare for next Christmas, when this will most likely happen again?

—Nix the Gift

Dear Nix,
Something smells here, and it's not the Prince Matchabelli musk perfume. You've been dating this woman for only a month, and almost by definition a monthlong relationship is just not that serious yet. You also have an uncomfortably proprietary sense of what you can dictate to someone else. It's understandable that you would express your concern at her receiving a romantic gift from a married man, but it's not your place to tell her how to dispose of it. Forget about the perfume; what matters is whether you're falling for a woman who's also involved with a married man. You need to tell your girlfriend that you've been uneasy since she received the gift, and you would like to know just what the nature of her relationship with this man is. If she tells you it's nothing, then you have to decide whether that sounds right or whether you think you're being deceived. And given everything you've described, there's a good chance it won't matter to you what she gets next year from the married man, because your relationship with her will be through.