A college-age son who blows off his mom's phone calls, and other maternal quandaries, just in time for Mother's Day.

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Dear Prudence,
I am a 50-year-old mother of three beautiful boys. However, I am having a problem with the oldest son, "John," who is a senior in college a few hours from home. Recently, John has stopped answering many of my phone calls. On occasion, I will send a text message saying, "Please call me," and I still end up having to call him a few hours later. John usually claims that he was studying and couldn't pick up or that he was too busy to call me back. Sometimes I ask his younger brothers to call him, as John is more likely to pick up for them. When we do talk, John always wants to end the conversation before I have finished speaking with him. He says that I call him too often. I feel that as I am paying for his education, a daily phone call isn't too much to ask. (I get worried if I haven't heard from him recently.) How can I get him to keep in touch?

—E.T.'s Mom

Dear E.T.'s Mom,
You aren't actually having a problem with John, but he's having one with you. Your boy is a man, and that means he needs to pull away from his hovering mother, even if his mother imagines that he's bleeding in a ravine, calling her name, if she hasn't heard from him for 24 hours. Think of what your daily conversations must consist of: you asking whether he ate a good breakfast and had a bowel movement; you nattering about the cute things his brothers "Billy" and "Tommy" did. He doesn't want to hear it! Sure, you can hold tuition payments over his head or manipulate his brothers to get him on the phone, but these techniques will only make him resent you and dread your conversations even more. Also remember that he is from a generation for which even a brief phone call seems like an endless drag—and, no, I'm not advocating you up your texting. It is reasonable for you to hear from him regularly, so try instituting a short weekly phone call, maybe on Sunday evening, that lasts 10 minutes. That will let your son know you trust him and respect his independence; and that when you do talk, he won't have to listen to you babble or pepper him with questions. If less-than-daily contact makes you too anxious, train yourself to do something else when you get the urge to dial: walk the dog, bake bread, learn the flugelhorn. That way, in 10 years your daughter-in-law won't be writing a letter that begins, "My mother-in-law is a lovely but intrusive woman who calls constantly, and my husband makes me talk to her because the sound of her voice drives him batty. …"

—Prudie

Dear Prudence Video: Fathers of the Bride

Dear Prudie,
I'm 19, and several months ago, my mom, 50, signed up for Facebook. She reconnected with high school friends, several from the band. One is a guy I'll call "Tom." Since she found Tom, I've been hearing about him a lot: his life, his job as a teacher, how he remembers their high school anecdotes. Eventually I became aware that they instant message every night, on some occasions until 3 a.m. Recently she revealed that there was going to be a "band reunion" and that Tom was attending. I made the mistake of getting into her e-mail and Facebook. There was a message he signed "Love," he sends her song lyrics, she e-mailed a picture of him to her work account, and she cautioned him not to accept friend requests from me. She and I had a fight, and she told me they're just friends and nothing is wrong. I told my dad about all this, and he said that he doesn't think anything is wrong, either, that she's just doing this to get attention, and that he's confident it will end soon. I'm enraged at Tom, who is married with his own kids, and frustrated with my mother. I want to follow her to the band reunion and give this guy a broken leg. Please help me!

—Confused Daughter

Dear Confused,
When Facebook started, it was exclusively for students. Now it's also for those who are still students at heart, who instead of popping pimples are getting Juvederm so when they look in the mirror they can try to convince themselves high school wasn't really so long ago. It's understandable you feel your family is threatened by the return of Tom, who can still do the whole guitar solo to Stairway to Heaven, even if he no longer has Jimmy Page hair, or any hair at all. However, you must take note of the fact that your father is perfectly aware of all of this—and doesn't care! Maybe your mother has had many such crushes (or even affairs) over the years, and it doesn't bother your father because he's grateful to these guys for taking her off his hands for a little while. You know how when your mother disapproves of a boy, it only makes him more enticing? Making your mother sneak around on you has only added to Tom's appeal. Most important, Nancy Drew, is that it's time for your sleuthing to stop. Your mother may be acting like a lovesick teenager, but she's your mother, not your daughter, and you need to keep in mind that this is none of your business.