My boss keeps "joking" about killing herself. How can I intervene?

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Dear Prudence:
I work in a small company of about 30 employees. My co-workers and I don't know what to do about our boss. Our company is in serious financial trouble. I make up the entire accounts payable/receivable department, and if it hadn't been for a big check we received from a company that owed us, we wouldn't have been able to send out our last payroll checks. I'm really worried about our boss' suicide "jokes." She frequently will jokingly ask me or another of my co-workers for a gun or a knife. She even crawled onto the windowsill in my office and had her bottom half hanging out until I grabbed her and pulled her back in. I told her recently that I was not going to take these questions as jokes anymore and that the next time she mentioned a gun or knife, I was going to call the suicide hot line. Her response was to walk over to my phone and say sarcastically, "Sure, let's do it now! I'll dial, you talk." She later came back and said, "I hope you know I'm never serious about that." One co-worker suggested we try to convince her brother to admit her to a psychiatric ward. But unfortunately she is the sole decision-maker regarding practically everything we do, so without her, I don't even know how we'd be able to run on a day-to-day basis. What should I do?

—Concerned Employee

Dear Concerned,
A lot of people these days are feeling as if they need to be talked in from the ledge. However, if this is no longer a metaphor and you are bodily pulling your boss in from an open window, then you've got a crisis that's more than economic. I talked to Dr. Richard McKeon, a suicide prevention expert at the federal Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. He said the fact that your boss dismisses this talk as a "joke" doesn't mean that she's not seriously contemplating taking her own life. He said the majority of people who commit suicide discuss it first. Many also make what look like half-hearted attempts, but these can be a way of getting used to the idea of the real thing. So your boss is on an alarming trajectory. She needs to get a suicide risk assessment from a qualified mental health professional. Maybe she needs immediate hospitalization, or perhaps medication and therapy would allow her to better function through this crisis. Your co-worker is right—you need to enlist her family. If they won't take action, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK. Explain your situation, and they will refer you to help in your area. It also sounds like it's time for all of you to face the painful reality that no matter what your boss's condition, it looks as if the company might be terminal.

—Prudie

Dear Prudence Video: Unwilling Other Woman

Dear Prudence,
Earlier this year, a person in my husband's family stole money from me. It wasn't a large amount of money, but I still felt rather violated, and so did my husband. I have a hunch about who did it, although all of the family members present at the time, of course, said they did not do it. After it happened, I approached the entire family and told them how hurt I was and how I could no longer trust any of them. Well, the holidays are approaching, and that means spending time with both of our families again. My husband is telling me to just get over this and stop holding a grudge, but I'm still very hurt. I do love his family, but how can I put something as big as this aside and put on a happy face when I just don't feel it in my heart?

—Robbed

Dear Robbed,
I'm afraid family gatherings aren't Agatha Christie novels in which you can get everyone into the drawing room and interrogate the suspects one by one: "And you, Aunt Myrna, you said you were getting more punch, but I distinctly saw you take a route that brought you in the vicinity of my purse, which was nowhere near the punch bowl!" You say you think you know who did it. So unless there was a familywide conspiracy to lighten your wallet, it's unclear why you can no longer trust all the other people who honestly responded to your grilling by denying they were the culprit. Your husband is right; you must let this go—completely and now. Since your family may harbor a pickpocket, at your next holiday gathering, leave your wallet in your car's glove compartment. And however tempting it may be, do not wear a fanny pack to Christmas dinner.

—Prudie