My genius boyfriend wins every argument, and I'm sick of it.

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Dear Prudence,
My boyfriend and I are both in our early 20s and have been dating for three years. We have a really strong relationship in almost every way, and I can't imagine being with anyone else. But here's the rub: My boyfriend is a genius. In so many ways, I love this about him. He challenges me to think about things, I am constantly learning, and he is always honest and rational. Unfortunately, these last two qualities have caused a bit of strain. I consider myself a very intelligent person also—nowhere near his level, but I've always felt confident academically. This sometimes takes a hit when I am around him. I rarely win arguments because I simply can't keep up with him. In matters of politics or world issues, this can be frustrating, but it doesn't really raise my ire. However, sometimes his argumentative style and calculating rationale are applied to our relationship. In many situations, I feel as though I am the one who has to compromise because he always wins the argument. I know my positions are reasonable, but I just can't articulate them as well as he does. I have talked to my boyfriend about this, but I think he has a hard time seeing my point of view—that though my feelings may not always be logical or rational, they are still valid. Am I being unreasonable for wanting a little bit of slack, or should I just accept that I'm dating Dr. Manhattan and let it go?

—In Love With a Super Computer

Dear In Love,
Did you conclude on your own that your boyfriend is a genius, or is this one of the things he had to articulate to poor, dumb you? I don't know what his IQ is, but his emotional intelligence comes in somewhere around "dolt." I'll take your word that you're dating a virtual Einstein, but take mine that he's an arrogant twit who's got you confusing bullying for brilliance. It's also possible he has some kind of disorder that leaves him unable to process the feelings of others. If so, he should be seeking help, or else he is destined to go through life alienating co-workers, friends, and loved ones like you. Actually, you might want to examine why you have spent three years being told by Mr. Spock that what you say has no validity because it lacks rationality. Mr. Spock and Dr. Manhattan are effective characters because while they seem human, their lack of emotion and empathy means they aren't quite. So give your mastermind a copy of Emotional Intelligenceand tell him it's about a subject in which he's deficient, but it's important for the two of you that he learn.

—Prudie

Dear Prudence Video: Clingy Boyfriend

Dear Prudence,
I'm a 29-year-old attorney for a technology company. Over the summer, my company hired a receptionist, "Sara," a 20-year-old student at a local university. As the summer came to an end, we had been chatting more and more, and we finally went on a date. I feel a very strong connection with her. We both suffer from the same rare intestinal disease, can talk about it freely with each other, and have surprisingly similar religious and family backgrounds. Not exactly romantic stuff, but it has made getting to know her and talking to her very comfortable. But in addition to our difference in age and disparity in education, I have been married once before. My ex-wife had been cheating on me for years, and it took many, many months for me to get back on my feet. I have been very up front with Sara about my past, my age, and everything else (all of which she had already found out through office gossip anyway). She claims that none of it bothers her and she really wants to keep seeing me. I worry that I'm possibly too old for her. Is this just an awful idea for both of us? If it is, I want to be able to break it off cleanly and wish her luck before things get serious.

—Pursue or Quit

Dear Pursue,
I don't think I've ever read a better description of kismet than: "We both suffer from the same rare intestinal disease." But it sounds as if there is more to your connection than just being able to compare cramps. Nine years is a significant but certainly not disqualifying age difference. It's just that it's starker when one of you is still living at the dorm and the other is launched on a career and already has been through a marriage. There is no reason not to date Sara, but it's probably you, more than she, who needs to be careful. She may potentially have serious feelings for you, or she may just be enjoying her first fling with a truly adult man (think of the stir you'll cause when you pick her up at college). But you sound emotionally vulnerable having just gotten over a crushing romantic failure. You want to see Sara and she wants to see you—so go with your gut (just keep a bottle of Maalox handy) and, for now, guard your heart.

—Prudie