My boyfriend doesn't want me to go to the spa for massages. What should I do?

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Dear Prudie,
I recently scheduled an appointment for a massage-therapy session at one of my favorite day spas. When I mentioned this to my boyfriend of five months, his demeanor was clearly one of disapproval. He expressed that he didn't want "some man rubbing on my woman," and I understood his point of view. As many times as I frequent day spas, I've always felt more comfortable with a female masseuse, and I reassured him of that. But it seems I can't even negotiate with him! I offered to take him for a couple's massage session, but he refused. He's willing to give me massages (and I love that); however, to effectively reduce my level of tension and stress, I need at least an hour to an hour and a half of massage time. I feel uneasy asking him to spend that much time after his day of work to work on my back. How can I convince him that a day spa is just a relaxation oasis to help reduce stress, tension, and worries?!

—In Need of a Back Rub

Dear In,
I can just imagine how relaxing it will be to have his hands around your neck while he questions why you stay in touch with that old high-school beau—now that you're his woman—and asks if it was necessary for you to have lunch with the guy from accounting—now that you're his woman. What business is it of your boyfriend's of five months (what business would it be of a husband's of 50 years?) that you enjoy getting a massage? Stay with this guy and you'll have to spend day and night at the day spa to get the tension, stress, and worry out of your back.

—Prudie

Dear Prudie,
I've been dating a great guy for almost a year now. He's kind, funny, we enjoy each other's company, the sex is great, and my usually critical family seems to like him well enough. Although I've always said I would get married to the right guy, and he has mentioned he may want to marry me in the future, we're not going to get married. He's sure he doesn't want kids, but I may want to in the future (we are both in our late 20s). He likes to spend his money on going out, gambling, and hobbies. He has no insurance, home, or retirement plan. I have all of these things, and don't like the idea of marrying someone with such a different approach to finances. The problem is, I realize that eventually this will have to end, but I don't want it to! I really feel like I could fall in love with this person and am scared that if I do, I would end up in a marriage that isn't right for me. Is there a good time to break it off, or just wait and see if it ends on its own? Am I being unfair to myself by staying happy in the short term? I have considered the possibility of dating other people while dating him, but I am a one-man woman.

—Happy for Now

Dear Happy,
Certainly there are many twentysomething men who plan never to have kids and blow all their money on toys, who, by the time they're fortysomething, are doting fathers who can bore you with discussions of their 401(k). There are also plenty of rolling-stone twentysomethings who end up as rolling-stone fortysomethings. It sounds as if you are convinced Mr. Good Sex is the latter. You're in your late 20s, and you will not believe how quickly your mid-30s creep up on you. Since you know you want marriage, would like children, and already have a mortgage, enjoying the company of a pleasant but not long-term companion for several more years could leave you scrambling to get your plans back on track. So, how is this relationship going to "end on its own" unless one of you decides to end it?

—Prudie

Dear Prudence,
It's that time of year when school ends, and some receive diplomas. A colleague and former supervisor, who has been with our agency for only two years, recently passed out his daughter's high-school graduation invitations to most of the staff (his subordinates) and his colleagues at another enterprise that shares office space. Inside the invitation was this handwritten note: "Susie respectfully accepts graduation gifts to help with college expenses. She starts State University in the fall. Thank you, the Smiths." Prudie, this would be different if we had known Susie since she was a wee lass, but most of us think this was beyond the pale. Are we overreacting?