Sharing a name with an infamous person is driving me crazy.

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Dear Prudence,
An individual with the same name as mine has recently been in the news. A lot. For some not very nice things. It's not simply the supposedly "just joking" jibes from friends and co-workers I'm enduring. I'm not looking forward to going through the rest of my life guilty by association. Besides growing rhino skin or changing my name, how do I deal with this, other than repeating over and over that I am ...

—Not That Mark Foley

Dear Congressman … I mean, Dear Not,
Yes, you're in for a siege of "Hey, don't ask my son for his e-mail address!" jokes, but you're probably looking at weeks or possibly months, not a lifetime of this. In response, you can smile wanly and sigh, "I haven't heard that one in about 20 minutes," as you wait for the next scandal to take the congressman off the front pages and out of people's minds. If new acquaintances from work or elsewhere inquire as to whether you used to represent Palm Beach, just say, "No, fortunately, we're not related." It's true there are some names that never lose their power to evoke disgrace—it's good not to be named Fatty Arbuckle or Benedict Arnold. But Rep. Dan Crane was once the scandal du jour for having sex with a female page. I'm sure the other Dan Cranes of the world no longer have to explain they're not "that" Dan Crane.

—Prudie

Dear Prudie,
Although I was raised in a Jerry Springer-type family, I have had the opportunity in my life to go to college and get a good job. Through a lot of luck, you could call me middle class now. My humble start has created some problems for me. Over time, I have tried hard to learn better manners and social skills, but I always feel uncomfortable and inadequate socially when I am with my colleagues and peers. However, I also don't feel I can entirely relate to people from my background and I feel terrible when I realize that I'm probably a snob. It's a conflict that extends not only professionally, but socially, romantically. I would probably be more comfortable with a simple small-town man, but I want someone who can fit in to my world. I believe I have the right to live my dreams, but I often feel that in pursuing them, I have moved into a life that is isolated and uncomfortable. I can learn many things, but I don't know how to learn the social skills I need, or how to be more comfortable or relate to people who were raised in such a different way, and I am tired of feeling like a fake.

—Torn Between Two Cultures

Dear Torn,
What do you mean when you say you can't relate to people from your background? Are you referring to fellow Jerry Springer Show escapees (and if they escaped, too, you should have a lot to relate to), or to people from modest circumstances? If it's the latter, you are a snob if you think someone's economic background determines their social skills or character. As for having more opportunities than your parents—that's called the American Dream. Did Bill Clinton's childhood prepare him to lead the life he has? Or Oprah Winfrey's? If you feel uncomfortable about your manners, read a couple of volumes on etiquette: Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior and Emily Post's Etiquette are good places to start. Yes, you will learn how to eat snails and what to do in a receiving line. But most of all you will see you've probably already figured out the mystery of much social behavior—it's about being gracious to others and at ease with yourself. Another secret: No matter how privileged your colleagues' backgrounds, every one of them has moments of doubt and awkwardness. Stop worrying that you don't belong, and be glad that your brains and hard work have gotten you to such a rewarding place in life. Once you accept this, you will naturally start feeling less isolated because you will stop being so harsh toward yourself, and others.

—Prudie

Dear Prudence,
I am a college freshman staying in a triple dorm room. My first few weeks have been fun, hanging out with my roommates and the friends we've made doing our respective activities. All was well until a mutual friend came to me and told me that my roommates had started coming up with schemes and ruses to ditch me when they do activities. I have since verified this through other means, including overhearing one of these planning sessions when they thought I was asleep. I'm confused and wondering what my next move should be; I'm in this room for the remainder of the year, since the university barely has enough housing to accommodate everyone in triples, so I can't switch rooms. My roommates both seem like good people who are fun to be around and I would want to continue hanging out with, a feeling that is apparently not shared. The nature of communal living means I can't just ignore them, a course of action I might otherwise have taken. Should I confront them, pretend to be aloof, or do something else?