—About to Crack
Judging from the letters I receive, every office in America is required to have someone who chews like a buffalo, hums like a swarm of mosquitoes, and grunts like a walrus. Since not everyone is equally annoyed by these sounds, could you possibly change desks with someone who doesn't mind the mouth of hell? If that doesn't work, turn to technology. You could spend a couple of bucks for earplugs, or buy one of those expensive noise-blocking headphones. You'll hardly look eccentric since these days everyone has devices attached to their ears. And if for some reason that doesn't solve the problem, you could delicately raise the issue with the offender. Try something like, "I hate to bring this up, but unfortunately for me, I am supersensitive to distracting sounds. You're probably not even aware of it, but could you try to tone down the [insert behavior driving you berserk]?" You may get no response, or even a hostile one, but there's a chance you'll—even temporarily—enjoy the sounds of silence.
I am having casual sex with this guy. I really like him. He says he isn't ready for a relationship. How will I know when he is?
When he stops having casual sex with you, you check out why, and you learn he's in a relationship with someone else.
TODAY IN SLATE
Blacks Don’t Have a Corporal Punishment Problem
Americans do. But when blacks exhibit the same behaviors as others, it becomes part of a greater black pathology.
I Bought the Huge iPhone. I’m Already Thinking of Returning It.
Scotland Is Just the Beginning. Expect More Political Earthquakes in Europe.
Lifetime Didn’t Think the Steubenville Rape Case Was Dramatic Enough
So they added a little self-immolation.
Two Damn Good, Very Different Movies About Soldiers Returning From War
The Most Terrifying Thing About Ebola
The disease threatens humanity by preying on humanity.