Was I hasty in getting rid of an insanely jealous boyfriend?

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Dear Prudie,
I'm 42 and divorced for over a year now. I have dated three men since my divorce. One man in particular captured my heart. We dated four to five times a week for the last three months and I was developing very strong feelings for him. He was charming, funny, brilliant, and very handsome. Everyone, including myself, felt this was a great match. Then like a switch went off, he became insecure and insanely jealous. He accused me of inappropriately flirting with his friends and embarrassing him. In no way did I do such a thing and we fought over it. The last time this occurred we were at a party given by a co-worker of his and I was sitting alone while he talked to someone else. A gentleman sat near me and politely started a conversation about the weather and other inane topics. My date then asked me to go outside and began to insinuate that I was encouraging more then polite conversation. I told him goodbye then and there, and have not made contact with him, nor have I heard from him. Now I am questioning whether I was hasty in not trying to come to some understanding with this man, as I miss all the things I loved about him.

—Doubtful

Dear Doubtful,
Count yourself lucky that you got this nut job out of your life before he punched you in the jaw because you said at a party, "What lovely weather we're having," to a member of the opposite sex. Would you want to be with someone who was wonderful in every way except that he was a raging alcoholic or compulsive gambler? Insane jealousy is just as destructive—and its wrath is aimed at you. If he does call, wish him the best and tell him your relationship is over.

—Prudie

Dear Prudie,
My husband and I live in a large metropolitan city, and we have a roomy house. I like cooking and entertaining, but we have intense jobs; consequently, our time together is very precious to us. My husband's sister and her family live across the state. Her children have attended school in our city, and we have been happy to be available to them. The problem is my sister-in-law. She announces that she is coming about once a month to visit the kids, get her hair done, or see an old friend. She (and sometimes her husband) stays in our extra bedroom. I cook breakfast and dinner for them. I enjoy their company, but the visits are too frequent and they're a lot of work for me. In 10 years, the entire acknowledgment of our hospitality is that she took us out to breakfast once. When my husband and I met, his sister regarded his house as a big-city crash pad. My husband agrees that it's a pain but says that his sister is too dense to take a hint. Otherwise our relationship is delightful and I want to remain on good terms with my husband's family. What are my options?

—Hostile Hostess

Dear Hostile,
Your sister-in-law is not dense, she's brilliant. She's gotten a decade of accommodations and meals without even having to supply a bottle of wine. However you approach changing this deal, it's bound to provoke outrage ("But I've been mooching off you for years!"). Here are your choices:

Goodbye Ritz, Hello Motel 6. Could you stand having her return to crashing in the bedroom and letting go of all the hostess duties? Give her a key to the house, tell her you're too busy these days to cook for a group, and suggest she bring her own groceries if she plans to eat in.

We're Fully Booked. The next time she tells you she's coming, you tell her this is not a good time for guests. Ask that she give you some notice for a future visit, and if it fits with your schedule, you'd be happy to have her.