Should I have thrown out my wife's affair mementos?

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Dear Prudence,
I've done something that has come back to haunt me. I've thrown away some things that were my wife's and she's finally noticed they are missing. I threw them away because they were gifts given to her by men she had cheated on me with, once when we were dating and once after we were married, and both times with men she'd been friends with before they became lovers. All the gifts showed up after they entered the lover stage. I couldn't stand these gifts in our house, so I threw them out. Now, months later, she has just noticed they are gone and has confronted me about them. She thinks she should be allowed to display those gifts. I'm stunned that she would actually think this would be acceptable in our home. None were of anything but sentimental value, the thought of which makes my stomach turn.

—Un-apologetically

Dear Un,
What were the gifts—a French maid's outfit? The collected recordings of Barry White? It sounds as if you two have not worked through the effect your wife's cheating has had on your marriage. It would have been better to have told your wife that you couldn't bear looking at the mementos of her flings, and asked her to get rid of them. Her response would have been instructive. Now that you've done it, though, you need to tell her the issue isn't the disposal of the gifts, but the larger matter they represent.

—Prudie

Dear Prudence,
Recently, the father of my significant other's best friend passed away. It was unexpected and a completely tragic situation. As I had no relationship with the man—in fact I had never met him, his wife, nor any member of the family other than the daughter and am not that close with her—I felt that my presence at the funeral was neither mandated nor especially wished for. It has always been my view that funerals are for family, friends, and those touched by the deceased's life. As my girlfriend was obviously planning to attend her best friend's father's funeral she wanted me to come, but for the reasons I gave above I declined. I am now drawing ire from my lady. Was I wrong?

—Afflicted With Funereal Disease

Dear Afflicted,
Although you didn't know the father, you know the daughter, and you say the circumstances of his death were particularly terrible. It would have been kind to express your sympathy by attending the funeral, particularly since your girlfriend asked you to accompany her. Write a note of condolence to the daughter and tell your girlfriend that yes, you were wrong.

—Prudie

Dear Prudence,
My younger brother and I are both getting ready to each have a first child, so our mother will be getting her first grandchildren within a few months of each other. She has announced that she will be called "Grandmother," despite my brother and I both asking that she not use that name due to negative connotations it has for us caused by our own grandmother. We have suggested cute nicknames or the idea of her choosing a nickname, or just being called whatever each respective child comes up with; however, she is not open to any of these suggestions. Who, if anyone, gets to choose what a grandparent is called? I normally would not have a problem with asking what she would like to be called, but in this case neither my brother nor I care for this choice. Our mother has also stated that if the child calls her something other than Grandmother, she will correct her grandchild with a reminder that it's "Grandmother" and not Gammy or Nana or whatever name the child was able to pronounce. Any ideas?