Getting back on track with an insulted co-worker.

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Dear Prudence,
I work for a small business. Recently, I made a huge mistake and opened my big fat mouth to complain loudly about one of my co-workers. To my extreme embarrassment, he was sitting in the next room and heard every word I said. There was a painful silence after my speech in which I realized what had happened after the person I was complaining about walked in and looked at me as if to say, "I can't believe you just did that!" There is already tension between myself and this co-worker, as he's quite anti-social and uncomfortable. I believe there is an unspoken dislike that is mutual, but we are polite to each other and try to stay out of one another's way. I have been sitting in my office replaying what I said and cringing, turning red, choking on my foot, going insane with embarrassment. It is such a quiet, small office that I can't imagine what it will be like as I try to avoid him and how guilty I will appear when we do have to interact. It wasn't such a horrible thing that I said, but more the way I loudly and obnoxiously said it. I have learned my lesson. Now what do I do to help the situation?

—Mortified

Dear Mort,
Ah, yes, Prudie has been in your situation more than once. (Her mouth wears a size 7 1/2 shoe, by the way.) Your only real option in a situation like this is to go to this man—difficult as it will be—and tell him you are mortified, not only to have been overheard saying what you said, but by the fact that you said it at all. Say it had been a difficult day for you because of an issue with (dog/children/mother-in-law/indigestion/take your pick). And you might use the occasion of your atonement to say that you would really like to improve your relationship with him, and does he have any suggestions as to how the two of you can be better office friends? You will be eating crow, my dear, but who knows? Something good may come of it. At least you will feel better for having tried.

—Prudie, contritely

Dear Prudence,
In my circle of girlfriends I am considered the "man of the group." This is because I have had numerous sexual encounters with men that I am not attached to in any emotional way. My girlfriends find it bizarre that I am able to have sexual relations with someone without an emotional attachment. I personally see no problem with it, as long as I have a handle on the difference between having sex and having a relationship. Men are able to satisfy their needs to no end and are almost heralded for their actions, while women become labeled something else. My girlfriends are older than I am, ranging from 38 to 51, while I am the baby of the group at 31. I don't quite know how to respond. We are a tight group and share everything with each other, but I am beginning to wonder if I should rethink sharing my encounters with them. What do you think?

—One of the women

Dear One,
It's too late to rethink sharing your encounters, cupcake, because you've already done it. Any future silence on your part would simply say to the group that your MO hasn't changed ... just your choosing to discuss it. Though you may be considered "the man of the group," the girls apparently feel close to you, even if they don't exactly understand your sexual choices. (And for anyone reading who is wondering why Prudie is not giving you static about your choices, let the record show that that was not the question you asked.)

—Prudie, directly

Dear Prudence,
I never thought I'd write to you in spite of the fact that I love the column, but recently I did something I'm ashamed of and would like to know your thoughts. A co-worker of mine took a short business trip, and she offered me the chance to use her office (bigger and nicer than mine) while she was away. For some crazy reason (too much time on my hands?) I decided to go through the recycle bin and found out she is having an affair, and that the trip was to meet her lover there. The problem is that I feel bad for invading her privacy, but probably not as bad as I should. I actually giggle when I think about it. Am I a terrible person?