When infants "write" thank-you notes.

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Dear Prudence,

I'd like your thoughts about a new mother who writes all thank-you notes as if her infant baby were capable of writing. They are "signed" by the baby as well. I don't mean to sound petty. I appreciate the thank-you notes, but for some reason it really annoys me that the note is not written by the parent(s) themselves, as an expression of their own gratitude and acknowledgement of a gift. What are your thoughts?

—SW

Dear S.,

Funny you should mention it. Prudie has always thought this approach kind of goofy but has rationalized it by understanding that a (usually) young mother is so over the moon about her baby that she chooses this mode of correspondence. Given the state of etiquette these days, be grateful for any acknowledgment, even one written in the voice of the dog, which Prudie has, in fact, received.

—Prudie, babyishly

Dear Prudie,

I am 30 years old, have been married for 10 years, and have two children. I come from a very conservative culture—I don't have to wear a veil to cover my face, but it is close to that. My husband and I have been going to a gym every day for the past seven months. Here is my problem. There is a trainer at this gym who's a teenager or in his early 20s who seems to watch me all the time. He doesn't talk to me, doesn't say hello—he just stands there looking at me. I have tried going to the gym at different times to avoid him, but he seems to be there all day long. I did not tell my husband about this, because if I did, I would be under house arrest for the rest of my life. I can't talk to my friends about this because they are all from the same country as I am and talking about such stuff (as a married woman) is taboo. Help me please, what do I do?

—Anxious

Dear Anx,

You have two options. Someone is in charge of your gym—a manager, perhaps—and it is to him you should go with your concern. Tell him the situation makes you very uncomfortable, and you'd hate to have to change gyms because of this. Your second option, which Prudie thinks is less likely because of your culture, would be to ask the young man why he is always staring at you. Either of these approaches might solve your problem. If not, then there is something implicitly dangerous and creepy about the situation, and you should state this to whomever is in charge of the gym. With luck, the young man will be let go.

—Prudie, resolutely

Dear Prudie,

I've had sole custody of my son since he was 6. He's now 13. A few weeks ago, he was busted for possession of marijuana at school. I'm not convinced he takes the charge seriously. I should add that neither I nor my current wife use drugs, smoke, or get drunk. He is not a latchkey kid, and this incident has really stressed our family. By sad coincidence, his birth mother has been in prison for drug dealing for the past year and has two more years to serve. I've never told him this. I've thought about it, because I tend to believe that honesty is the best policy. But his birth mother asked me not to tell him, and I've been respecting her wishes. Now that he seems to be headed the wrong way, I wonder if I should tell him. It could be a great wake-up call and could hammer home the reality of drug use. But could it be emotionally damaging? I await your advice.