How do we politely tell people to buzz off about what church we're joining?

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Dear Prudie,

You may have already addressed this problem, but I haven't seen the answer. My husband and I are currently living in a state that's part of the Bible Belt. We were both raised with traditional religious beliefs and were married in a church but have since stopped going to church services and have no desire to become involved with any organized religion. We recently moved from a large metropolitan area to a somewhat smaller town and have encountered a new problem. When we meet new people, after the usual introductions, they ask if we have a "church home" yet, as if this is the logical next question you ask someone you've just met. We don't want to seem rude, but we feel that our religious beliefs are no one else's business, especially perfect strangers. We were both raised with the belief that it's rude to talk about money, politics, and religion in polite conversation. We realize times have changed and subjects that were once taboo are now debated constantly. The problem is that we've seen, firsthand, friendships ending because of differences in political and religious beliefs. Do you have any suggestions as to how we can answer these clods when they ask the inevitable question?

—Sincerely,

"Church Homeless"

Dear Church,

If you wish to be evasive, you could say, "We've not chosen yet." This, however, could very likely lead to a Sunday invitation. A direct answer would likely send them fleeing ... à la, "We do not consider religion a subject for social conversation." Unfortunately the region you are in complicates your life, so perhaps you will have to search around for like-minded friends for whom religion is not topic A and to whom you do not seem like heathens.

—Prudie, impiously

Dear Prudence,

I'm at my lowest these days. My husband and I have not had sex for almost 15 years due to his serious illness. Because he can't have sex, he has also shut down emotionally—no hugs, cuddling, kissing, etc. I've tried to talk to him about it, but he shuts down even more. He refuses to talk to our family doctor, although I've discussed it with the doctor. He is in his early 60s, and I am in my early 50s and still in good physical condition and OK in the looks department. We had a recent house guest, his nephew, who is 20 years younger than me. He came on to me, and before I knew what was happening, we were in the sack. The attraction was incredible, on both sides, but I'm mortified that I allowed it to happen. The nephew told me he was attracted to me more than 10 years ago but kept his distance out of respect. We are both upset about what happened, but I'm afraid that I'll be tempted again. The good thing is that he lives halfway across the country, so it's not likely. We have a son who is the nephew's age, and they are really good friends. I can only imagine the damage to the family should this get out. The nephew is really apologetic but not sorry. I feel so idiotic! How could this have happened? What do I do now, if anything? (Other than staying the heck away from him!!!)

—Confused and Upset

Dear Con,

How this happened is not hard to figure out. You've experienced a drought for 15 years, a younger man made you feel desirable, and bingo. His telling your son of the incident is not likely to happen, and there is no need to feel like an idiot. It was a mistake. What you do now is nothing except forgive yourself. End of story.

—Prudie, remedially

Dear Prudence,

My brother is a great guy. He's handsome, young, single, responsible, and courteous. He makes a good living and has his pick of women. My parents raised him to be respectful of all women, and he is protective of me and my mother. He has his own place, and I still live at home, so whenever he's out of town, he lets me stay at his apartment so I can have some time away from our parents. He's well-read and enjoys outdoor sports. Like I said, he's an all-around great guy. However, when I go online at his house, there is TONS of porn on the computer. Not just Playboy stuff but the hard-core stuff that guys in raincoats watch in the back of half-empty movie theaters. I'm disgusted by it, and I don't understand why my brother looks at it all the time. I think he's addicted because on his "favorite Web sites" list he has about 50 porn sites. They keep popping up as I try to read the news or check my e-mail or do anything else online. Do you think I should address it with him, or is it completely normal for most men to continuously surf porn sites?