My husband divulges too much of our personal life to his mother.

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Dear Prudence,

I have been married for eight years and have often been shocked when my husband says private things publicly. He thinks it's no big deal, though he did stop for a while. He e-mails his mother from work about our sex life—and he tells her everything—and she responds back. This has gone on for some time, and even though the counselor (who he handpicked, himself) told him I am a private person and things like this embarrass me, he continues. What is the deal?

—At My Wits' End

Dear At,

The deal is that your husband and his mother have an unhealthy attachment that manifests itself in discussing topics not appropriate for a man and his mother. And sorry, his handpicked therapist is a sandwich shy of a picnic. The reason your sex life should not be fodder for your mother-in-law is NOT that you're a private person, but that you're a married woman whose sex life is nobody's business. A grown man who discusses marital intimacies with his mother is judgment-free and developmentally damaged. Prudie suggests that YOU choose a therapist who can get it across to blabbermouth that he needs to find new subjects to chat about with his mother—and the reasons why. What is going on now is deplorable. To borrow a course of action from Lysistrata, until this matter is settled to your satisfaction, perhaps you should not give him anything to talk about.

—Prudie, strategically

Dear Prudie,

My boyfriend and I have been a couple for five months and are very much in love. He is wonderful, attractive, and the sweetest man I've ever dated. He takes care of my car problems, flat tires, anything I need, and I help him in his business, make him dinner, anything he needs. We see each other every day. He is the man of my dreams. My problem is that I'm ready to talk marriage, and he doesn't seem to be. He is 10 years older than me and has been married twice before, both times to women who turned out NOT to be nice people and about whom he had misgivings even before tying the knot. I've never been married before, and I do take it very seriously. My bringing up the subject has been a killer of other relationships in the past, and this one I don't want to kill. Subsequently, I'm afraid to bring it up. We share the same religion and believe that premarital sex is wrong. (Yes, I am a 30-year-old "V" word.) I have no wish to break my promise to God but don't feel I can hold on much longer. I vacillate between two camps: thinking I need to back off and prepare to date other people, or the idea that, OK, being his girlfriend is definitely better than being any other man's wife, so maybe I can live like this for, say, the next 20 years, or however long it takes. Please advise.

—Permanent Girlfriend?

Dear Perm,

Alas, not everyone shares the directive on Prudie's powder room towels: "Eat, drink, and remarry." Your boyfriend is certainly not the only one to be burned by divorce who vows never to marry again. If marriage is essential for you, perhaps issue an ultimatum—but be prepared to be turned down. If you truly believe that being this man's girlfriend is "better than being another man's wife," then stick around and hope that one day you might get your wish. Should you choose the however-long-it-takes option, however, you both might decide to renegotiate your deal with God.

—Prudie, realistically

Dear Prudence,

I recently reunited with my first love over the Internet. He lost his wife to cancer a little over a year ago. We have seen each other a few times (we live several hours apart), and things are basically great. Here's the problem. He was very much in love with his wife and believes he is "cheating" on her with me; he doesn't want me to meet his 20-year-old daughter since he promised her he would never get involved with anyone else. Should I give him some time with this or give him an ultimatum? I know we're not doing anything wrong, and I don't like the fact that he thinks of me as "the other woman."