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Note: Prudie has been astonished by the number of people who've written to say they were unhappy she apologized for saying that, in some circumstances, brides who requested cash should not be censured. The surprising outpouring of support was not only ... well, surprising, but interesting. The times they may be a-changing, and perhaps etiquette, as well—who knows? See for yourself.

I just read your apology for your (wonderful) advice regarding the Bride-To-Be question. I'm sorry to see you apologizing because I absolutely loved your advice. My boyfriend agreed it was awesome, and he asked me to save the poem to stick in our invitations, should we decide to get married. We both thought it was brilliant. Keep up the good work.

—Juell, adoringly

I agree with you completely in your response to the bride wanting to request financial gifts versus store-bought ones. In fact, on www.theknot.com, a Web site for bridal registries and related wedding information, a couple can set up in their gift registry a way for guests to contribute toward a specific goal. Willing participants can make gifts in $25 increments. The site then transfers the money to a designated account for the couple, and they are notified of the gift. This does seem to begin to address and reflect the desires of the modern couple. Thanks for keeping up with the times.

—Jodie H.

It seems you received a lot of flak for saying that it is OK to ask for money as a wedding gift. I find it perfectly acceptable. I live in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, and here we have something called a presentation wedding. If the bride and groom are having a presentation wedding, it is known to all that they are requesting money instead of gifts. At the reception there will usually be a table near the entrance with some fancy type of "box" for the guests to put their envelopes in. These days a lot of people are already living together and have the toaster, bath towels, etc. Also, many people are on their second marriages. I do not understand why people think it is tacky. Here it is the normal thing.

—RN

I think it is perfectly OK to ask for money instead of gifts at a wedding celebration. I'd say that the gift registry custom has already brought the bride and groom's expectation of gifts out of the closet. How is it less greedy to register at Pottery Barn and then TELL your guests what to give you? Society has deemed this acceptable, however, because who wants their mother-in-law choosing a china pattern for them?

—Dona W., San Francisco