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Dear Prudie,

I'm, gasp, in my early 30s and have been married for five years. I was just wondering: Is everyone cut out for marriage or long-term relationships? Does everyone's heart break from time to time within a seemingly good relationship? My husband is gentle most of the time, doesn't interfere in my life, is a good provider, doesn't smoke or drink, and, I believe, is not the cheating kind. The thing is, Prudie, I was hoping for a warmer life. My hubby was in his mid-30s when we got married and was living in the family home with his mother, older sister, and older brother. This is normal in our part of the world. Hubby treats these people better than he treats me. His mother cries when we leave town on vacation, calls her son five times a day, and counsels him on every little detail of our lives. I have asked him not to report our lives to her, and he's complied to some degree. One telling detail: Every time she needs cash, she has her son leave our home, go the ATM, withdraw money from her account, and bring it to her across town. There is an ATM very close her house, plus she has a son living with her. Isn't that bizarro? There's a lot more. At this point, I am no longer angry, just lonely and disillusioned. Is there a way to change this kind of thing? Do I just have high expectations? Your insight would be very helpful.

—Where's the Light?

Dear Where,

In answer to your questions, marriage isn't for everyone, and of course there are imperfections in even the good relationships. Your particular situation, however, sounds like a severe apron-strings problem—beyond cultural. Or at least Prudie hopes it's beyond cultural, because it would be awful to imagine that catering to one's mother and freezing out one's wife is standard amongst any group of people. Your husband needs to be enlightened about Mama's manipulation. If he does not understand, for example, the ATM maneuver for what it is, he is surely in need of edification. That there's a son—still living at home—is the tip-off. It is fine for your husband to respect his mother, but he doesn't have to let her push you to the sidelines. Going to a couples' counselor would probably be the best approach—and if he balks, make it an "or else" proposition. If you do not, he will be dancing attendance on Mama long after ATM machines have been replaced. Good luck.

—Prudie, pointedly

Dear Pru,

When is it inappropriate for people to bring kids to an event, and what can you do about it? Recently I went to a very non-kid-friendly movie—the plot was pretty much sex, sex, sex, which was obvious from every review and preview—and there were two different entire families there. Each group of people contained at least four kids, ranging in ages down from about 8 to babies. The kids were running up and down the aisles and talking and yelling and crying and climbing over and under the seats and spilling soda on people all through the movie. No one, including management, said anything about it because the families were of a specific minority group, and I think people were afraid of seeming racist at the arty liberal movie theater. This is the only "art-house" movie theater in town, they serve wine and beer, and they don't show child-appropriate movies. What's the deal? Is it a crime to hire a baby sitter anymore?

—Annoyed

Dear Ann,

It's not a crime, but for some families it's impossible or unaffordable. Like you, Prudie is of the old school, believing if an occasion is for grown-ups, people should stay home if no sitter is available. Lots of people disagree with Prudie, however ... hence little kids in wildly inappropriate settings. As to what you can do about it at the movies—at least because of content suitability—nothing. You CAN, however, complain to the theater management about kids who are running, yelling, talking, crying, climbing, and spilling soda. You could even report adults for the same behavior. Ignore the minority business, by the way; you are not making a complaint because of the person's ethnicity. There is an outside chance that, according to statute where you live, minors may not be where alcohol is served. If so, you could alert the liquor license people. And regarding movies where children do not belong, there's an outside chance that the parents read no reviews but simply went because of the title alone. Years ago Prudie's dear girlfriend was deeply embarrassed when she took her pre-adolescent son to what she believed to be a movie about farmers. It was Day of the Locust.

—Prudie, age-appropriately

Dear Prudie,

My wife and I are heading toward a bit of a showdown with her parents and need your advice. We've bought a house and established ourselves in an area that we really like and where we plan to stay for a long time. The problem is my wife's parents, who we've always enjoyed seeing on visits several times a year, are now looking for a house near where we live. It may sound silly, but we feel like we've got some rights here, as people who have already put down roots, to ask that they consider looking for a house at least a couple cities away ... somewhere close enough to get together but not so close that we're running into them at the store. Prudie, how do we explain that we do like them and enjoy their company, but we are not comfortable with them moving so close? Is there a tactful but stern way to convey this? By the way, age and health are not reasons for them wanting to move close to us. They're both relatively young and in good health and are not looking for us to be caregivers.