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Prudie,

Can you give me an answer to this? I have been married for six years. We haven't had sex or even hand-holding—because he wiggles his hand away after five to 10 seconds. There is cuddling rarely, hugs maybe once or twice a month. We had sex three times the first two weeks after we married and nothing since.  I love him, but I need more. He says I am too needy.

—Wanting

Dear Want,

You are TOO NEEDY? Nuts, maybe, to have stuck around for six sexless years, but "too needy" you are not. This man has deep psychological damage and is not operating anywhere near the vicinity of normal. If you love him, as you say you do, you must insist he get into therapy—though Prudie is not sure that even that will guarantee a corrective. Lest you think there is something wrong with you, take it from Prudie: There is something seriously wrong with your husband's ability to relate to people in general or women in particular. You may have made a great mistake with your choice of a mate. With no flippancy intended, Prudie will cite an old retailing term that applies to your situation: Your first markdown is your cheapest. That is, do not invest any more time without solving his frigidity problem ... one way or the other.

—Prudie, sympathetically

Dear Prudie,

My problem involves the computer and the Internet, but does not have to do with a no-good who looks at porn sites for hours on end or is e-mailing some sweetie who thinks he's single. My concern has to do with my teen-age son. He is a whiz and very accomplished with all things computer. His teachers rely on him at his high school when it comes to their computers, and he has a part-time job with a corporation working for the man who runs their systems operation. Ordinarily I would think his "gift" is wonderful, but I feel he is slighting social activities and friends because he is so wrapped up in technology. Would you be worried, and should I be?

—Mississippi Mom

Dear Miss,

Since the lad is a teen-ager, Prudie sees nothing wrong with being a little slow on the social track. It is, in fact, probably preferable to being too advanced. There's plenty of time for him to catch up. What has captured his imagination is laudable ... the kid isn't hanging out at the racetrack. And remember, my dear, in this year of our Lord 2002: The geek shall inherit the earth.

—Prudie, supportively

Dear Prudence,

I am a 72-year-old-widow who has been married, not counting the three years after my divorce, from the age of 16. My second husband died last year, and I am truly enjoying my freedom. My problem is an old male friend of mine. He contacted me earlier this year, after his wife died, to talk. He has since let me know that he has always been "in love" with me and would like a relationship. The thing is, I do not want anything like that with any man. If he just wanted to be friends, I might consider that. How do I tell him I do not want a relationship with him without hurting his feelings? After all, he is an old friend. Please help.