Get "Dear Prudence" delivered to your inbox each week; click hereto sign up.Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. (Questions may be edited.)

Dear Prudence,

I have a dilemma. I've been dating this guy for a little over two years. For a while I thought I should marry him ... he's intelligent, ambitious, kind, and we don't fight or argue very often. But there are things about him that make me think we're not meant for each other. I've recently moved in with him, bringing with me all my belongings, as well as my two dogs and two cats. I love him, but I don't feel like this is even close to the fairy tale relationship I've always longed for. I guess what I need to know is, is there even such a thing as a fairy tale romance? I know I will always be loved and taken care of with him, but is that enough? Would I be settling if I agree to marry him? My last relationship lasted way too long (five years), and I knew we were never going to marry. I just don't want to waste five years with another man, only to decide it isn't meant to be. Do you think I should talk to him about it?

—Wondering

Dear Won,

Talk to him and say what? "Could you please be a little more like Prince Charming?" Unless you have a concrete idea of what he could do to help your fantasy along, like flowers every Friday or poems on your pillow, Prudie would not suggest you share with him your desire for a fairy tale romance. The qualities of his that you mention—intelligence, ambition, kindness, and a minimum of arguing, would certainly sound like Prince Charming to a boatload of women. And, my dear, he even welcomed your livestock when you moved in! As to your question—is there such a thing as a fairy tale romance?—Prudie would say yes, and in fact she has had one. Alas, they do not endure. Fairy tales are to romance what fireworks are to the night sky. They are transient states ... and while temporarily thrilling, not what one builds a life around.

—Prudie, historically

Dear Prudence,

I need your help. I am totally in love with the biggest jerk on earth. I have been going out with this guy for almost a year, but he still "just wants to be friends." I don't want to let him have his cake and eat it, too. What suggestions can you give me so I can make him understand that he doesn't know what he has until it's gone?

—In Love

Dear In,

Regarding the cake, put it back on the shelf. As for how to make him understand that he doesn't know what he has until it's gone, that, alas, is a no-brainer. Be gone. Tell him you think he needs time to crystallize his thoughts and to see how life goes without you. This is what Prudie calls a fate bet. By taking this action, you will bring things to a head. If things go your way, you two will be together. If he fades off into the ether, you will know it was never going to be the way you wanted it.

—Prudie, ultimately

Dear Prudence,

I am a foreign national living in the United States, and I really like it here. Obstructing my American dream, however, are emerging immigration and professional problems. Both problems are out of my hands to solve, except that I could get married to an American woman. I have, at best, six months to pull this off. I am 24, and I have a bourgeois salary. So what's the best approach? When making your recommendation, keep in mind that most of the woman around me are of the "country," "western," or "redneck" mind-set in regards to foreigners. Am I screwed?