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Dear Prudence,
I am in a real jam. I have been diagnosed with a mild social phobia and don't go out much. Most of the people I know are from online communities. This doesn't bother me much, as I feel I am still able to socialize. The problem is that when I moved away from my family in Kentucky, I was expected to be the one who "makes it big." Because of this, I have inflated my social standing and lifestyle to my friends and family back home. I told them I was doing a lot of stage work and making a name for myself. My biggest lie, though, was that I told them I was engaged. Now my sister's wedding is coming up, and I don't know what to do. I already made up excuses at Christmas and Thanksgiving about why he could not come home with me. My whole family is expecting to meet him at the wedding, and I have run out of excuses. I want to come clean, but I know how foolish I would look. I do not want to continue the lie by saying we broke up. I am under such strain just thinking about this. What is the best way to tell them I am really not engaged or successful?

—Anne

Dear An,
Fess up with as little varnish as possible. Tell the folks in your old Kentucky home, flat out, that you passed along glowing reports because, mistakenly or not, you thought that's what was expected. Tell the family your imaginary life is over, and any future reports will be about what is actually going on. Whether or not they overdid the expectation number is now moot. The fact that you are not a stage star or engaged to "John" does not mean you are failed. Prudie expects you will feel greatly relieved when you straighten out this rather tangled situation.

—Prudie, truthfully

Dear Prudence,
This is in response to the letter from "Hiding the Truth"—the woman who has been with a married (but legally separated, ha) man for three years and is feeling guilty because she slept with another man when her main squeeze decided to go back to wifey for a day! I think you missed an essential point in your answer to this woman: WHY IS SHE STILL WITH THE MARRIED MAN? It's been three years, and he's still only "legally separated"? Why isn't he divorced yet? He obviously still has ambivalent feelings about being separated from his wife, hence the reconciliation attempt (once again, after THREE YEARS). "Hiding" will never be the only one in this man's heart and is selling herself short. She should get some professional counseling to take a hard look at why she is still with this man or at the very least confront him on his lack of a divorce. The path she's on now is only going to lead to more pain. So, "Hiding," take back control of your life—this guy doesn't deserve your consideration!

—Therapist Who's Seen It All Before

Dear Ther,
Thank you for being a guest Prudie. There was a great deal of booing about Prudie's answer. The gist of all the letters was that this woman wasn't even cheating because the guy had left her to try it again with his wife! For whatever reason, Prudie viscerally took a male chauvinist view of the situation ... when, in actuality, the woman didn't owe this bird a thing. Let us just say that, if not exactly out to lunch, Prudie was certainly taking a coffee break and regrets her previous advice.

—Prudie, correctively

Dear Prudie,
I have a problem. From the time my husband was my boyfriend, his mother always had it in for me. She used to tell me unflattering things about him that were way different from what I was perceiving. Well, that didn't work, and we got married. On our wedding day she didn't show until the reception, then took him aside and said, "They found a lump. ..." She didn't go on, but said, "Don't worry about me. This is your day." This was only the beginning. So many more things have happened. She often tells me one thing, then tells my husband another. I have tried to stay away from this situation, but the situation follows me. My husband understands exactly what is going on with her, yet it still causes tension between us. What do I do?