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Dear Prudie,
I have been going with a guy for about a year and we moved in together two months ago. Recently, I went out of town to visit my parents, and upon my return found out he had been joining these adult online Internet sites where people "meet." He doesn't know that I know. I (unscrupulously) looked in his e-mail (I know the password) and that's how I found out. I then joined the same Internet site and wrote him an e-mail wanting to find out exactly what he's looking for. He responded to this e-mail, of course not knowing it was me. Is it wrong, do you think, for me to lead him on like this? Am I better off just leaving him? Aren't most men cheaters anyway?

—Stir Crazy

Dear Stir,
This is a rather newish relationship for you to be having such problems. And no, most men do not cheat. Since you're evaluating whether or not to stay in the relationship, if you're up for some mischief, you might arrange to meet him as your make-believe e-mail self. Bring a doctor with you, if you can, because he will probably faint. Prudie thinks this would be a perfect, not to mention satisfying way to put the issue on the table. Let us all know what happens!

—Prudie, playfully

Dear Prudie,
1) I am a "Two-Ton Tessie."
2) Camryn Manheim is not a REALLY big woman. You must not have ever seen a REALLY big woman.
3) I hate that you have the ear of 10 percent of the nation when you make your horrible statements showing your fatism … encouraging others in insulting and disrespecting fat people.
4) I have canceled my subscription to your column as I am no longer interested in seeing what you have to say. You have shown your true colors.

—Lisa

Dear Li,
Feeling kinship with Peter Finch (as Howard Beale in Network) when he says he's mad as hell and isn't going to take it anymore, Prudie is going to keep this discussion going. It might be ... well, more prudent to let it ride, but your letter touched the nerve that Prudie has long called The Italian-American-Mobster Response. It is beyond annoying to hear Mafiosi say that law enforcement authorities arrest them simply because they have vowels at the end of their names ... as it is when anyone tries to skate away from the facts under the banner of "prejudice." Regarding your second point, Camryn Manheim really is a big woman—and refers to herself as such. It is absurd to say she is not, or at best it is to be in denial. The girl's got to be at least a size 20. Regarding your third point: fatism, shmatism. It is not insulting or dissing fat people to acknowledge that some men (or women) have an aesthetic problem with weight considered to be beyond the norm, let alone off the charts. The word "obesity" has a medical definition and is not meant as a slur. Regarding your fourth point, the Prudie People will miss you.

—Prudie, colorfully

Dear Prudie,
My mom is 50-something and is getting married for the third time. She is planning a formal wedding and reception to celebrate the happy event. My question is this: Am I obligated to help pay for this, or is she on her own? I am happy for her but not quite sure where my responsibility as a dutiful daughter lies and would not want to hurt her feelings by not doing what is right. Your insight would be appreciated.