Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com.

Dear Prudie,
Everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes other people know about them, but my situation is worse than most. My "mistake" was common knowledge because I live in a small town. I had a well-known affair with my boss, and he finally didn't leave his wife—as he promised. Anyway, I've changed my job, so I don't have to look at him every day, but I feel now that everybody is looking at me. I really don't want to leave this town. It has many wonderful things about it. How do I hold my head up and stop obsessing that whenever anyone sees me they think: home-wrecker-wannabe?

—Sadder but Wiser

Dear Sad,
If Monica Lewinsky and Dick Morris can go out in public, so can you. And although some people do still look at them and visualize ... well, whatever they visualize ... there is life after scandal. The important thing is that you have learned from the "mistake." There is no percentage in letting this misstep cloud your future. Stuff happens, and sometimes the hard-earned lessons are the valuable ones. The fabled acting coach, Stella Adler, had a great saying that applies to life as well as acting: "Don't go back. Go on." Let that be your mantra, along with "No more borrowed husbands."

—Prudie, optimistically

Dear Prudence,
I have a beautiful daughter who is 23 and lives with me. She's a great kid, but she has ADHD and drives me insane. She keeps her room in such a mess that sometimes I could cry. I was so distraught at one point that I spoke to a psychologist whose answer was, "It's her room, so just shut the door and forget about it." I can no longer do that. It has reached the point where her slovenly habits are frequently the topic of conversation with her friends and family members. I have given many ultimatums, threatened to toss her things or make her move out. Of course I am equally guilty because I have never followed through. There must be some resolution, short of making her leave, which she can't afford to do. Got any ideas? (Her car is the same as her room.) HELP.

—Grasping at Straws Mom

Dear Grasp,
Attention deficit-hyperactive disorder is the diagnosis du jour for kids and young adults. It entitles them to all sorts of educational benefits and enables parents to give them Ritalin. Obviously some kids as well as adults do have it, though Prudie's parents' generation called it "ants in your pants." Since you find you're unable to take the advice of the psychologist, perhaps your daughter should see one. In the meantime, you must either ignore the chaos in her wake or invite her to live on her own. A 23-year-old can get a job and live independently of her mother.

—Prudie, pragmatically

Dear Prudie,
I am 30 years old, divorced with two kids, aged 3 and 5. From the age of 4 to my teen-age years, my older brother molested me. It's been nearly five years since he's stopped "commenting" on the situation, but for a while he continued semi-trying, but I always warded him off. He is married and his wife doesn't know any of his past with me. He lives in Texas, but a few months ago he came back to visit the family and to try to sell his house. I let him stay at my house. One night, while I was on the computer trying to find a book, I was having no luck and said under my breath, "Well, screw me." He heard me, and answered back, "Well, if you insist." I felt sick. He has harassed me for so long, and even made jokes about incest to his friends so that they began to wonder. My mom has wanted me to keep this whole thing quiet so I don't make people dislike him. I am very angry and now no longer speak to him. The problem is, Christmas is coming. His wife is hoping we can reconcile before the holidays. I don't want to. Am I overreacting? How should I handle the coming holidays?