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Dear Prudie,

As the most sensible person on earth, you are the obvious person to turn to about this silly thing that I can't get out of my head. I thought I'd let it go years ago, but in the last few weeks it's even been in my dreams. Here's the issue: Ten years ago, my husband and I had a smallish, informal wedding. Our mothers each wanted to contribute something special and were enthusiastic when I suggested they each make a wedding cake. I gave them two favorite recipes and all seemed fine. So the day arrived. The carrot cake was delicious (thanks, Mom) and then there was a cheesecake—not what I had asked for. My mother-in-law told me without apology that she didn't feel like making the recipe I'd given her.

I now have three unbelievably fantastic children, a 10-year mostly good marriage, a successful career, and no wish to be petty. (Incidentally, my mother-in-law's a loving grandmother.) So Prudie, tell me: When one agrees to make a wedding cake, isn't the idea to do what the bride asks—or is it OK to just show up with the wrong cake? Was this just obtuseness, or some kind of passive-aggressive act? (One possible complicating factor: I was seven months pregnant when I married, and my future mother-in-law argued vehemently for an abortion.) Given that this seemingly trivial act is even in my dreams these days, do you think I should ask her what she was up to, or just get over it already?

—Wedding Woes Long Past (Or Should Be)

Dear Wed,

You are obsessing about cake from 10 years ago? Honey, you gotta get a hobby. The most sensible person on earth thinks that the "wrong cake" may have been a little acting out, but so what? Your life sounds pretty good, and you say that the cheesecake maker has been a doting grandmother. Do not bring this up because there is nothing to be gained. As mother-in-law digs go, cheesecake doesn't even make the Top 10.

—Prudie, maturely

Prudie,

Somehow, somewhere, I got it in my head that I wanted a threesome ... me, my husband, and a woman we would both agree on. I talked my rather conservative husband into doing this, however he is still uneasy with it. Our problem is we are not sure if this is just a fantasy that should be kept as that or if we should venture into what has become a sexual obsession. We've both thought of the replications [sic] if it went badly, but we think we could handle it in an adult manner and just enjoy the new sexual experience. What do you think?