Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com.

Dear Prudence,

I've gotten myself into a mess and need advice about how to get things straightened out. I'm married to a woman whom I've loved for 21 years, but the relationship seems to have lost its oomph. I've started to spend time during the day in a local strip club and have gotten really close with one of the dancers. All three of us are in our late 30s to mid-40s. It wouldn't take a lot of encouragement from this dancer for me to trip the light fantastic with her. She knows I'm married, as do all the dancers in this club. I don't get aroused during lap dances, but I can't seem to get enough of this gal. She has the same outlook on sex as I do, whereas my wife is unwilling to try anything different when it comes to sex. I could handle having sex a couple times a day on average. I'm no "Superman," I've just always been this way. Spending time with this dancer makes me feel good. Am I crazy or just horny? What should I do?

—No Signature

Dear No,

Let Prudie guess: You're the one who's in his mid-40s (and apparently self-employed). If you're concerned about where this is going, take your lap out of that strip club, never to return. If you are looking to blowup your marriage to the woman you have loved for 21 years, you are going about it in the perfect way. Prudie predicts that if you continue with the stripper, the one who shares your outlook on sex, you will not only trip the light fantastic, you will fall into a whole lot more trouble than any oomph is worth. The fact that you're writing for advice is a sign you know you're playing with dynamite.

If you want to stay married and get a grip on this lowdown, not to mention dangerous behavior, go with your wife to a couples counselor and lay it on the line, pardon the expression. With professional guidance, your wife might be encouraged to become adventurous—and you will be helped to recommit to the relationship. If, however, you decide you want to be in the sack twice a day with a stripper, do your wife the kindness of so advising her. As to your question about horny or crazy, right now Prudie thinks you are horny and crazy. Let's hope it's temporary.

—Prudie, frankly

Dear Prudence,

Some months ago I broke up with a woman I had been seeing for nearly four years. It was amicable—as breakups go—and we're still in touch. Still, I was surprised to hear that she's getting married to a woman (I'm a man) next month. I'm not going to be invited and wouldn't go anyway, but she's planning on sending me an announcement, i.e., a request for a gift. I doubt this marriage is a good idea for either of them, but I know it's none of my business. Still, I'm not entirely comfortable with any of this: receiving mail from her, the stories about how good her new relationship is, and now the wedding. Should I send a gift, and if so, what sort of wedding gift? What response is appropriate for someone you don't really like that much?