Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com.

Dear Prudence,

I have been dating a wonderful man for a year and a half. We have discussed marriage, and I feel he is the person I want to spend my life with. My last serious relationship blew up when the man, whom I trusted, turned out to have been cheating on me for some time. Because of this experience with mistrust, I am ashamed to admit that I resorted to looking through my new love's things when he's not at home (we do not live together). I found pornographic magazines and pornographic Web sites in his registry. I tried opening the subject with him, in a non-accusatory way, and his response was that he is not a "consumer" of pornography. Also, I asked him if he still chats with other women online, because I know that he met several of his ex-girlfriends this way. He has repeatedly told me no, but evidence on his computer shows otherwise.

What I would like to know is: Are men who frequently use pornography for recreation unhealthy in any way? Is this type of behavior likely to lead to future infidelities? I'd like your opinion before I invest any more of myself in this relationship.

—Concerned

Dear Con,

Certainly this is an unsavory aspect of your friend's activities, and the line can be somewhat fuzzy between erotica and pornography. What makes sense for you to do is to talk to him directly about the subject so you can find out what Net sex means to him. Is it an addiction? Is it a replacement for sex with you? Is it an outlet for fantasies? Does he prefer it to actual contact, and if so, why? Also important is whether he's chatting (and/or masturbating) with a specific person. Then, you need to figure out what all this information means to you. If he denies things you know to be true, your decision will be made for you.

—Prudie, supportively

Dear Prudence,

I work in a five-person legislative office. The receptionist takes pains to know as little as possible. She frequently directs my calls to the wrong people, takes wrong numbers, etc. Worse, in addition to her professional failings, there is simply nothing I like about her. I resent her ignorance, her Avon sales pitches are tiring, she sings off key and uses baby talk. Her religious proselytizing is offensive, and her frequent interruptions disturb my work. I've tried and tried to be nice—or at least be civil—but I just can't keep up the facade. I could live with her professional struggles OR our personal differences, but not both. Unfortunately I can't fire her, and there's no office door I can close to keep her at bay. Besides taking Prozac and fantasizing about getting a new job at Burger King, what can I do to cope? Eight hours can be a V-E-R-Y long time.