Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com.

Dear Prudence,

My problem is my mother. She tries to tell me how to raise my children (interestingly, differently than she raised me). When I resist, or the children do not do what she wants, she withholds things from them. For instance, when my son didn't do something her way, she sent my daughter the Christmas present of her dreams, but sent nothing for him. Should I tell her just to get out of our lives? I have been trying since my kids were born to see that they had a good relationship with their grandmother. She's always favored my daughter, but this is getting ridiculous. I am at the end of my rope with her. Thank you.

—Troubled Daughter

Dear Trub,

My sympathies. Your mother is certainly in touch with her inner control freak. It is one thing for a mother and grandmother to have suggestions about child rearing, quite another to act out one's displeasure if ignored. Prudie's mother, for example, when Prudie's children were young, made occasional remarks suggesting her grandchildren were being raised by wolves (Prudie being somewhat permissive) but that was the end of it.

Your mother is guilty of two serious infractions here. One is to overtly favor one child; the other is using gifts as payola for behavior that she issues by fiat. It is hurtful when grandchildren realize a sibling is favored. The emotional response is to wonder, what's wrong with me? Prudie gives you permission to inform your mother of your new rules: Gifts for one child and not the other, excepting birthdays, will be returned to her; and gifts are not to be given or withheld according to whether the children do as she instructs. As their mother, you are—in the now famous words of Al Gore—the controlling legal authority. If Grandmother does not see it your way, do not hesitate to lop off the relationship until she can behave in the best interests of the family.

—Prudie, resolutely

Dear Prudie,

My husband and I have been married for 19 years and have three children. We've had our rough spots, but I always thought we could work through them. I thought our problems stemmed from money (we never have enough). We've also had high stress levels due to my husband changing his career and our moving to a new state. But, again, I thought we could work through the difficult times. Then, two weeks ago, we were talking about how we just weren't making it and that we may have to consider divorce. In that heated discussion he revealed he's been sleeping with other women since the first year of our marriage. He admitted to five different affairs and countless visits to massage parlors for "full-body" massages. He says he never told me because he knew it would be too devastating.