Family Matters

Advice on manners and morals.
Dec. 3 1999 3:30 AM

Family Matters

Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com.

Advertisement

Dear Prudence,

How does one "get over" a spouse's affair? How long does it take for the hurt to lessen?

--Susan From Bethlehem

Dear Sus,

As with bleeding, healing takes different amounts of time for different people. Alas, some people bleed to death. Prudie wishes you peace of mind, wherever you may find it. Give yourself some time to see how things play out and see how you're feeling about things ... well, about him. If you can't get over it, get out of it.

--Prudie, understandingly

Dear Prudence,

I am having an ongoing ordeal over whether my 12-year-old daughter should refer to her stepfather as "Dad," "Stepdad," or by his first name. I've been remarried for six years to my present husband, and he insists that my daughter should refer to him as either "Dad" or "Mr. Giles" when addressing him. My daughter calls my husband by his first name, which infuriates him because he believes it is disrespectful. My daughter insists he doesn't deserve to be called "Dad" and now only makes reference to "him" when mentioning her stepfather to friends or relatives. Please advise about what would be the most appropriate way to handle the situation.

--Mrs. Giles

TODAY IN SLATE

Politics

Talking White

Black people’s disdain for “proper English” and academic achievement is a myth.

Hong Kong’s Protesters Are Ridiculously Polite. That’s What Scares Beijing So Much.

The One Fact About Ebola That Should Calm You: It Spreads Slowly

Operation Backbone

How White Boy Rick, a legendary Detroit cocaine dealer, helped the FBI uncover brazen police corruption.

A Jaw-Dropping Political Ad Aimed at Young Women, Apparently

The XX Factor
Oct. 1 2014 4:05 PM Today in GOP Outreach to Women: You Broads Like Wedding Dresses, Right?
Music

How Even an Old Hipster Can Age Gracefully

On their new albums, Leonard Cohen, Robert Plant, and Loudon Wainwright III show three ways.

How Tattoo Parlors Became the Barber Shops of Hipster Neighborhoods

This Gargantuan Wind Farm in Wyoming Would Be the Hoover Dam of the 21st Century

Moneybox
Oct. 1 2014 8:34 AM This Gargantuan Wind Farm in Wyoming Would Be the Hoover Dam of the 21st Century To undertake a massively ambitious energy project, you don’t need the government anymore.
  News & Politics
Politics
Oct. 1 2014 7:26 PM Talking White Black people’s disdain for “proper English” and academic achievement is a myth.
  Business
Buy a Small Business
Oct. 1 2014 11:48 PM Inking the Deal Why tattoo parlors are a great small-business bet.
  Life
Dear Prudence
Oct. 2 2014 6:00 AM Can’t Stomach It I was shamed for getting gastric bypass surgery. Should I keep the procedure a secret?
  Double X
The XX Factor
Oct. 1 2014 5:11 PM Celebrity Feminist Identification Has Reached Peak Meaninglessness
  Slate Plus
Behind the Scenes
Oct. 1 2014 3:24 PM Revelry (and Business) at Mohonk Photos and highlights from Slate’s annual retreat.
  Arts
Brow Beat
Oct. 1 2014 9:39 PM Tom Cruise Dies Over and Over Again in This Edge of Tomorrow Supercut
  Technology
Future Tense
Oct. 1 2014 6:59 PM EU’s Next Digital Commissioner Thinks Keeping Nude Celeb Photos in the Cloud Is “Stupid”
  Health & Science
Science
Oct. 1 2014 4:03 PM Does the Earth Really Have a “Hum”? Yes, but probably not the one you’re thinking.
  Sports
Sports Nut
Oct. 1 2014 5:19 PM Bunt-a-Palooza! How bad was the Kansas City Royals’ bunt-all-the-time strategy in the American League wild-card game?