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An old and trusted friend, "Jane," who lives in Los Angeles and works in television suggested I send her the manuscript of a novel I wrote because she had a friend who knows an agent who was looking for works by women about women. I sent the manuscript and waited for a response. Jane reported to me that her friend loved the book. Months passed without further information. This week, Jane told me that the woman she gave my book to turns out to be a psycho, and she doubts whether this woman even had an agent in mind when she requested my manuscript. She apparently had a crush on Jane, who says she has since cut off all contact with her.
My problem is that I want my manuscript back, and while Jane apologized profusely for the way things went, she refuses to retrieve it for me, saying that the woman would misconstrue this as an overture. I hesitate to contact the woman myself, because I don't want to get in the middle of a weird situation. I also get the impression that Jane thinks that her being upset supersedes any responsibility she has for getting my book back.
--Bruised and Confused in the Big Apple
Guess what? You've been had. Ditto for Jane. As for getting your manuscript back, it's pretty clear that Jane isn't going to ask, and you don't want to, so let's try Prudie's standby: a lawyer letter. Surely you have a friend who is an attorney who would write a formal letter to Psycho With a Crush requesting the return of the manuscript. That way, Psycho WAC will not have any information about how to reach you, merely the address of a law firm. Even nut cases (usually) pay attention to letters from lawyers. This is your best shot. Whether you choose to continue your friendship with Jane or not is another issue, but Prudie wonders why you would let your one and only copy of a manuscript out of your hands. Let's hope this experience has advanced your education from Psycho to Kinko.
This is kind of a different problem from what I've seen in your column, but here goes: I am not yet 30 and continue to move up in my rather buttoned-up company, where most of the male executives are married to, shall we say, plain women. The girl I am seeing now, like the one before her, has--and this isn't politically correct--a major pair of hooters. You might say this is my "type." She is very well spoken, has a good job, and is not a bimbo by any stretch of the imagination. She just has these ... well, anyway, they're attention-getting. What is the best way to deal with this?