Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com.

Dear Prudence,
       I would appreciate your views about an experience I had recently. I was at the supermarket buying bulk candy (a confection called "Hokey Pokey"). It's in a bin, you scoop it into a bag, write the bin number on the twist-tie, and pay for it by the pound at the checkout. As I was writing the bin number on the tie, I noticed a woman politely waiting for me to finish. I moved out of the way, then she--I know you see this coming--scooped up a handful of Hokey Pokey and popped it in her mouth. I didn't say or do anything, and now I wish I had.

It's irritating enough that I and other shoppers have to cover the cost of in-store snacks for her and others. But I have recently become a parent and wonder how I should react to this type of situation if I were with an inquisitive child. Do you think I should have said something to the woman? Should I have told the manager? I'm interested in your opinion.

--R. in St. Paul, Minn.

Dear R.,

This is one of those public issues where the act seems minor, but the collective price is significant. It is of course, as you perceived, an ethical lapse. As for the questions you raise, Prudie thinks you were correct not to say anything because that would have undoubtedly led to a brouhaha in the aisle--perhaps with some Hokey Pokey being lobbed. It would also have seemed petty to go to the manager and tattle--mostly because he would probably have been disinclined to approach her and say, "I was informed you've been eating the Hokey Pokey." Arrests at candy bins are probably rare.

Had Prudie been there, in lieu of saying anything, she might have made eye contact with the woman and then raised an eyebrow, the message being "My dear, what behavior!" If your child was old enough to witness the candy bin caper and wondered why the woman was eating from the bin, you would have been perfectly within the bounds of propriety to say, "You are quite right. What the lady is doing is dishonest, but we are not in charge of other people." If the transgressor were to hear this, you'd be in the clear because you would not have been talking to her ... and she would be just as embarrassed as if you had been. In sum, what you witnessed was petty thievery, not someone poisoning the city water supply, and no person was being harmed. You did the correct thing by not trying to be a policeman. The key to the question: To intervene or not to intervene, is judgment. That's what it's all about.

--Prudie, judiciously

Dear Prudence,

I have a situation. I have a good friend of the opposite sex who I've known for three years. Although he was initially attracted to me, the feeling wasn't mutual, so we became platonic friends. He even got married recently. The thing is, we've become closer--and now I'm attracted to him. We haven't had sex, but a frolic or two has occurred. Since I've never thought of myself as "the other woman" type, we are not hanging out again until this goes away. His friendship is important to me, and I take those duties seriously. Do you think we can go back to being really good friends sans frolic? Or does my wish to be a good friend require severing the relationship? Help!!!!