Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com.

Dear Prudence,

Last weekend a friend and her husband came to visit me for a few days. This is a friend I have known for 25 years, and although we've lived in different cities for the last 23 years, we've always kept in touch and stayed fairly close. We had a great weekend--saw the sights of the city, ate out, etc. But the day after they left for home, I found some damage had been done that they hadn't told me about. The turntable in the microwave was chipped, and the toilet in their bathroom was clogged. Neither of these things in and of themselves bothers me. What does bother me is that this lifelong friend didn't have the courtesy to let me know what had happened. Should I just let these things go in the name of preserving the friendship? If not, what are my options?

--C.S.

Dear C.,

The chums took the easy way out. It was not classy or first-rate, but it saved them what they perceived to be embarrassment. Avoidance is a rather common behavior ... some people decide it's easier to skitter away than to 'fess up. Granted, it's left-footed social behavior; Prudie is not going to argue with you there. Your options, however, depend on how strongly you feel about letting them know you know. If you just can't stand to let it ride, then write a non-accusatory note saying you were sad they didn't feel close enough to have mentioned the microwave or the sluggish toilet. To lighten it up, you could add that all the repairs have been made, and you look forward to their return visit. Think about it for a few days, then decide how you want to play it.

--Prudie, tactfully

Dear Prudence,

A year ago my husband's cousin and his wife moved in with us. They were relocating from another state and needed a place to live "for a few months" while they got to know the area, and found jobs and a place to live. They agreed to pay half the rent and attendant bills.

Well, they're still with us, and they never pay anything on time. They seem to think that junk food qualifies as their half of the groceries. My husband and I keep the house supplied with good food, but we can't afford to support two grown adults. We also cannot stand their dog. (It's not housebroken, and it's full-grown.) We have made subtle hints and mentioned that they need to start looking for their own place. But they aren't catching on. How do we tell them to get out of our house without causing family problems? We've always been close and don't want to lose the friendship. They are using us, and I need help with this.