Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com.

Dear Prudence,

I was adopted and grew up in a very abusive home. I don't seem to be able to get past the bitterness and resentment I feel for my parents. For years I have wanted to confront them about the beatings I took, my mother's drinking, and my dad's complete indifference. At 30 years old, I am sober and reasonably successful, despite having not completed my bachelor's degree in accounting. I've had my own struggle with alcoholism, and I have difficulty concentrating on much else besides how I grew up--though I'm trying to get past it.

Meanwhile, probably to assuage their guilt, my folks constantly ask me questions such as, "Did we raise you right?" It is hard to bite my tongue and lie to them, telling them they spent plenty of quality time with me, etc. My fiancee has been very supportive and has suggested that when my folks open the door with their questions that I should take advantage of it and unload.

What's your take?

--Closed door in D.C.

Dear Closed,

It certainly sounds as though your parents have accumulated many debits in your emotional ledger. Prudie salutes you for pulling yourself together considering some overwhelming obstacles. It's clear that you need to unburden yourself, either to a counselor or to your folks. Until all the resentment gets out, it will eat away at the vessel it is stored in: you.

It is interesting, and Prudie thinks meaningful, that your parents continually pose these questions. At some level of consciousness, they know the answers. This might be their way of asking you to give voice to your feelings and to confront them. You certainly have nothing to lose. Next time such a question is posed, ask them if they really want the answer. If they say yes, then try to hold yourself together and, as calmly as you can, give a truthful response. Tears are OK; hollering is not. This may be what they've been waiting for so that they can talk about the past and apologize. They, as well as you, might need to give the disastrous past an airing. A repair is possible, but if it doesn't happen, you've unburdened yourself, let in some sunlight, and lost nothing. Prudie is for realism and honesty, and hopes the balance sheet comes out with an improved bottom line.

--Prudie, encouragingly