Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com.

Dear Prudence,

Just a quick comment on the poor advice you gave to a woman inquiring about a gift for a second marriage. I married someone who was briefly married before. However, I was a first-time bride. It is my contention that if you accept an invitation to attend an expensive black-tie affair that you should bring a gift of at least the value of your meal. I was outraged and shocked that anyone would give a gift of less than that. If they did not attend, a similar, albeit somewhat less expensive gift would have been acceptable. I think it is incredibly poor taste, rude, and offensive for anyone to bring a "token" gift--especially if one party has never been married. Shame on you for promoting bad manners.

--RS

Dear R$,

Prudie is guessing you subscribe to Soldier of Fortune magazine, because you are certainly a mercenary. Prudie also suspects that your husband's prior bride may have snagged some fabulous presents, thereby irritating you because you feel--correctly--that people will not spring for two terrific presents within a short period of time. What is actually in incredibly poor taste is to mentally make a quid pro quo--the quid being the meal, the quo being the gift. Presents, my dear, have to do with one's finances and one's feelings--not the cost of a meal. And how, exactly, by your lights, are guests supposed to know the cost of the meal? Do you, by any chance, suggest having it engraved under the répondez, s'il vous plaît?

--Prudie, alarmedly

Dear Prudence,

My co-worker recently announced her wedding and mentioned that everyone should be receiving their invitations soon. I decided to give her an elaborate wedding shower and to include all the women (and their spouses) who work with us. I coordinated this event from A to Z. Everyone chipped in $30 per couple for a travel certificate to be used for their honeymoon. About 60 people attended and the event went off without a hitch. My friend was extremely grateful. My question is: Am I still responsible for buying a wedding gift? I wasn't sure if it would be in poor taste for me to consider my efforts and contribution to the shower enough.

--Sincerely,