Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com.

Dear Prudence,

My 12-year-old daughter is friends with a girl whose single-parent mother is rarely at home. While I understand that she has to work, I cannot understand why she chooses to spend most of her free time with her boyfriend, who lives an hour away. The result is that her daughter is at my house most days after school (well into the evening) as well as most weekends. Her mother calls to check on her, but this is no substitute for the time and attention her daughter needs.

Both my daughter and I feel very sorry for her friend and understand her unwillingness to be alone so much, but I am concerned by her mother's neglect and resent the free childcare. I have considered sending the mother a note but am convinced it would only result in hurting the daughter and making her feel unwelcome in my house. I do not want to be ungenerous to a child in need. How should I handle this?

--Concerned Mother

Dear Con,

Sending a note to this neglectful mother, you correctly imagine, will not change the situation for the better. The not-so-hot mother will become defensive, and one way or another the kid will pay the price. It sounds to Prudie as though you and your daughter like this child, so why don't you redo your thinking, privately, and come to see this de facto member of your household as a kind of foster child. Think of your open-door policy as an act of charity, a chance to make an important contribution to a youngster's life. Your kind approach will also serve as a model for your own daughter. If you think it useful, discuss your new approach with your daughter. It can only help her if she knows her own mom is consciously trying to make a difference. It can only be a wonderful lesson, by example, for her to see generosity put into practice.

--Prudie, inclusively

Dear Prudie,

Recently my wife wrote to you concerning my flossing while driving. Your answer was predictable: It's unsafe; tell him to do this in private. Well, my wife nearly fainted to see me castigated in public, no less on the Internet!