A Fine Whine
A Fine Whine

Take a One-Way Trip From Tatty to Natty

In defense of looking nice for your flight or train ride.

Aug. 19 2013 5:45 AMI’m From America. Stop Complaining, South America.In defense of Americans calling the U.S. “America.”
July 3 2013 2:13 PMYour Flip-Flops Are Grossing Me OutThey’re unsightly, unhygienic, and unfit for public display.
May 9 2013 5:45 AMNo, I Do Not Want to Pet Your DogThey’re lounging in our offices and licking us at our cafés. It’s time to take America back.
Nov. 1 2012 7:07 AMNot Right in the HeadListen up, cyclists: Riding with headphones is incredibly dumb.
July 12 2012 2:09 PMStarry BlightHow a bunch of peasants in Mesopotamia ruined the night sky.
April 20 2012 1:32 PMLet’s Do LunchIt’s time for America to embrace the long, leisurely lunch break.
Oct. 26 2011 5:24 AMFoodie Death SentenceThere's no way I'm waiting two hours to eat at a trendy restaurant.
July 1 2011 11:39 AMFireworks SuckThey really do.
March 9 2011 7:20 AMI Don’t Need a HugHonestly, get your hands off me.
April 12 2010 6:53 PMWhat's the Matter With Virginia?Political backsliding in the Old Dominion.
July 28 2009 1:03 PMVampires SuckActually, they don't. And that's the problem.
Nov. 25 2008 4:17 PMThanksgiving? No Thanks!Why food writers secretly hate the November feast.
Feb. 4 2008 3:28 PMConfessions of a Young Hillary SupporterOr, how I became the loneliest man on campus.
Dec. 29 2006 7:13 AMI'm a Lousy MomMy daughter's lice were bad enough. But then I got the little buggers …
April 26 2006 12:04 PMKeep Your RosesI hate Admin Day.
July 18 2013 5:16 PMWhy BMW Drivers Are Jerks to CyclistsI have four theories.
July 3 2013 5:45 AMDon’t Say GoodbyeJust ghost.
Feb. 19 2013 6:02 AMThe Recline and Fall of Western CivilizationTilting your seat back on an airplane is pure evil. But so is installing seats that recline in the first place.
Oct. 25 2012 3:37 AMThe Tyranny of the IronWhy we should all wear wrinkled clothes.
April 24 2012 2:09 PMI’d Rather Eat at My DeskWhy lunch breaks are totally overrated.
Jan. 25 2012 6:26 PMThe Pajama ManifestoWear them to work. Wear them to the store. Wear them everywhere.
Aug. 26 2011 6:55 AMLetters to the Summer TenantsThe lament of a self-martyred landlord.
April 25 2011 4:45 PMBoycott the Royal WeddingAmericans are supposed to hate monarchs, not worship them.
March 2 2011 10:41 AM"We Listen to NPR Precisely To Avoid This Sort of Stupidity"The tedious, annoying complaints of public radio listeners.
Dec. 1 2009 12:15 PMBoxed InGiving someone a TV series on DVD is like giving them a life sentence.
July 1 2009 8:01 PMFireworks SuckThey really do.
Oct. 21 2008 2:26 PMHappy Birthday, You BastardUnder no circumstances will I be attending your stupid birthday dinner.
March 15 2007 12:48 PMScrap the Greenback!It's time to get rid of the dollar bill.
Dec. 20 2006 12:33 PMMe and My Big Wimpy HobbyI make Christmas wreaths for the ladies in my life. You got a problem with that?
Dec. 29 2005 4:15 PMBitter BrewI opened a charming neighborhood coffee shop. Then it destroyed my life.