Resignation Letters from Shamu’s Trainer, Roger Goodell, and Other Disillusioned Employees

Dubious and far-fetched ideas.
March 14 2012 1:41 PM

Why I Am Leaving Sea World

Resignation letters from Shamu’s trainer, Roger Goodell, and other disillusioned employees.

Killer whale 'Tilikum' and his new trainers.
"I got in this business to spread my love of marine life. Now I see the whales are just in it for the chum and the audience is all wet."

Photograph by Gerardo Mora/Getty Images.

I attend derivatives sales meetings where not one single minute is spent asking questions about how we can help clients. It’s purely about how we can make the most possible money off of them.
—Greg Smith, “Why I Am Leaving Goldman Sachs,” New York Times, March 14, 2012

******

I started at this company because I thought our mission was to pass along everyday low prices for our valued customers. Now I come to find out that we have put several independent retailers out of business. That’s just not right.
—Sheryl Cromwell, “Why I Am Leaving Wal-Mart,” Washington Post, March 20, 2012

Advertisement

When I look at the McRib, I realize that it’s no longer about serving the highest-quality ambiguously sourced, rib-shaped meat product. How many “limited-time offers” can we make before we lose the trust of our loyal patrons?
—Steve Parsons, “Why I Am Leaving McDonald’s,” Wall Street Journal, March 23, 2012

When I started here, there was an entire refrigerator stocked with coconut water. Now, that fridge holds nothing but agave juice. I don't care for it.
—Bob Randolph, “Why I'm Leaving Google,” San Francisco Chronicle, March 22, 2012

I got in this business to spread my love of marine life. Now I see the whales are just in it for the chum and the audience is all wet.
—Melody Stevens, “Why I Am Leaving Sea World,” USA Today, April 3, 2012

When did football stop being about the glory of higher athletic achievement? When did the players stop loving each other and start hurting each other?
—Roger Goodell, “Why I Am Leaving the NFL,” Sports Illustrated, April 8, 2012

I attend Saturday afternoon meetings where not one single minute is spent discussing The Memory Keeper's Daughter. It's just an exercise in gossip, competitive dessert-making, and Hunger Games movie speculation.
—Margaret Tingley, "Why I Am Leaving My Book Club," Entertainment Weekly, April 20, 2012

I sat in meetings that were all about taking over corners. How many corners do we need?
—Stringer Bell, “Why I Am Leaving the Baltimore Drug Trade,” Baltimore Sun, Oct. 31, 2004

TODAY IN SLATE

Politics

Talking White

Black people’s disdain for “proper English” and academic achievement is a myth.

Hong Kong’s Protesters Are Ridiculously Polite. That’s What Scares Beijing So Much.

The One Fact About Ebola That Should Calm You: It Spreads Slowly

Operation Backbone

How White Boy Rick, a legendary Detroit cocaine dealer, helped the FBI uncover brazen police corruption.

A Jaw-Dropping Political Ad Aimed at Young Women, Apparently

The XX Factor
Oct. 1 2014 4:05 PM Today in GOP Outreach to Women: You Broads Like Wedding Dresses, Right?
Music

How Even an Old Hipster Can Age Gracefully

On their new albums, Leonard Cohen, Robert Plant, and Loudon Wainwright III show three ways.

How Tattoo Parlors Became the Barber Shops of Hipster Neighborhoods

This Gargantuan Wind Farm in Wyoming Would Be the Hoover Dam of the 21st Century

Moneybox
Oct. 1 2014 8:34 AM This Gargantuan Wind Farm in Wyoming Would Be the Hoover Dam of the 21st Century To undertake a massively ambitious energy project, you don’t need the government anymore.
  News & Politics
The World
Oct. 1 2014 12:20 PM Don’t Expect Hong Kong’s Protests to Spread to the Mainland
  Business
Moneybox
Oct. 1 2014 2:16 PM Wall Street Tackles Chat Services, Shies Away From Diversity Issues 
  Life
Outward
Oct. 1 2014 6:02 PM Facebook Relaxes Its “Real Name” Policy; Drag Queens Celebrate
  Double X
The XX Factor
Oct. 1 2014 5:11 PM Celebrity Feminist Identification Has Reached Peak Meaninglessness
  Slate Plus
Behind the Scenes
Oct. 1 2014 3:24 PM Revelry (and Business) at Mohonk Photos and highlights from Slate’s annual retreat.
  Arts
Brow Beat
Oct. 1 2014 9:39 PM Tom Cruise Dies Over and Over Again in This Edge of Tomorrow Supercut
  Technology
Future Tense
Oct. 1 2014 6:59 PM EU’s Next Digital Commissioner Thinks Keeping Nude Celeb Photos in the Cloud Is “Stupid”
  Health & Science
Science
Oct. 1 2014 4:03 PM Does the Earth Really Have a “Hum”? Yes, but probably not the one you’re thinking.
  Sports
Sports Nut
Oct. 1 2014 5:19 PM Bunt-a-Palooza! How bad was the Kansas City Royals’ bunt-all-the-time strategy in the American League wild-card game?