"Let me say what everyone knows, Chuck: Fuzzy Peeples has not been himself since all-star center Harry Chester went to Rochester. When Harry was here, Fuzzy was a bear, but after Fuzzy had no Harry, Fuzzy just wasn't Fuzzy, was he?"
"With a one-point lead, the Big Bangs go into a four-corner stall. Peters passes to Pippins, over to Xiang, now to Jethro Throne. Foul called! Robert Beatty-Buggins bumped him! Robert Beatty-Buggins bumped him! Walla Walla's in a one-and-one, and Jethro will throw three free throws. Brad, is that the best slowdown you've ever seen?"
"Chuck, when I was in Arkansas, I saw a stall that could out-stall any stall I ever saw. They could move a ball all a game, willy nilly, à la Walla Walla."
"Oh, my! Jethro Throne has underthrown three free throws. Ashtabula ball! Seconds remaining. Peppers passes to Boate. MAKES AN INCREDIBLE SHOT! TROY BOATE! TROY BOATE! TROY BOATE! Ashtabula by one!
"Five seconds—four—Walla Walla ball! Xiang puts up a desperation heave! HE MADE IT! HE MADE IT! OHHEEOOH-HAHA! CHING XIANG! WALLA WALLA BIG BANGS WIN!"
TODAY IN SLATE
Ben Bradlee Dead at 93
The legendary Washington Post editor presided over the paper’s Watergate coverage.
The Congressional Republican Digging Through Scientists’ Grant Proposals
Renée Zellweger’s New Face Is Too Real
Sleater-Kinney Was Once America’s Best Rock Band
Can it be again?
Whole Foods Is Desperate for Customers to Feel Warm and Fuzzy Again
I’m 25. I Have $250.03.
My doctors want me to freeze my eggs.
Forget Oculus Rift
This $25 cardboard box turns your phone into an incredibly fun virtual reality experience.