I know what I’m doing New Year’s Eve–constructing “cheese olives” for our cozy-as-heck Open House party on New Year’s Day–but I began to wonder about the people I’d met or interviewed or heard tales of while researching Apocalypse Pretty Soon. So, I picked up the phone and did some gabbin’.
A cautionary note: Don’t get too excited by the (generally) upbeat mood among the people I spoke with. The folks to worry about are the ones who don’t take phone calls from reporters, and I was unable to raise notable figures such as:
Monte Kim Miller, a Christian cult leader who was thrown out of Jerusalem last year in connection with an alleged plot to go on a terror rampage in January 2000. (He’s currently missing.)
Bob Rutz, owner of Prayer Lake, a Christian Y2K survivalist community in Arkansas. (I connected with a woman there, but she simply barked, “He doesn’t do interviews!”)
Chen Hon Ming, the leader of Chen Tao, a UFO cult that predicted God would appear in Garland, Texas, in March 1998. (Last I heard the Tao-heads moved to Buffalo, N.Y., and they still all wear … brrrr … identical uniforms and matching white cowboy hats.)
And Yisrayl Hawkins, a former rockabilly singer who leads a large, compound-based End Times cult near Abilene, Texas. (Where all hands reportedly await the apocalypse and the return of Christ sometime in 2000.)
Another cautionary note: The four people just mentioned are hardasses. The majority of the enthusiasts I wrote about are people who lead rather ordinary lives but happen to believe esoteric things. They’re not cult leaders, cult members, or kooks. Well, maybe one or two of them are slightly … kook flavored … but I love them all, so be nice. Got it? Good.
Kenna E. Farris, a 74-year-old Missouri man, believes he has been designated by God as “the Forerunner Prophet of the Apocalypse.” This is a big year for him: He’s convinced that in 2000, Jesus will sneak back to Earth in a UFO, capture Satan, take him away to bind him in chains, and inaugurate a 1,000-year period of peace that will stop on or around 3,000 with the end of the world. Sadly, Farris is convinced he’ll be slain this year–as one of the Two Witnesses mentioned in the Book of Revelation, this is his fated role. Farris will spend New Year’s Eve quietly at home, “sitting right here ignoring all that YK2 craziness, which I don’t think will amount to much.” He adds: “I lived through the Depression. YK2 just makes me chuckle.”
Bob and Zoh Hieronimus, from suburban Maryland, believe in the Earth Changes–basically, the idea that the planet is serving up an escalating series of natural disasters to slim down the human population. (It’s our fault: We’ve treated her badly and the bill is coming due.) Bob and Zoh are nice people who happen to be wealthy enough to have constructed a roomy Earth Changes survival apartment in the sub-basement of their home. Their space has a big, bright kitchen, bunks for 40 or so, and spiffy bathrooms–and it’s all backed up by two powerful generators. They aren’t worried about Y2K–“I don’t think it will be that serious,” says Bob–though they do think the Earth Changes are getting worse all the time. And for New Year’s? An at-home celebration involving “parts of our family who are very conscious of the problems to come–we’re going to spend some time talking about our nation and where it’s headed in the next century.” There will also be time for food, hoops, “games galore,” and maybe a Charlie Chan movie or two.
James BeauSeignur, another plucky Marylander, is the author of The Christ Clone Trilogy, a swell series of novels that dramatizes the End Times dramas outlined in Revelation. (His special twist: A Christ clone is developed from cells scraped off the Shroud of Turin, but he goes bad.) James used to work at Unisys and is a teensy bit worried about Y2K. “There were a lot of our computers that, because of firmware, are simply going to fail,” he says. “We sent out mailings to companies that had the older equipment, but as far as I know only a small percentage bothered to upgrade.” Hmmm. James has laid in extra water, food, batteries, plenty of firewood … the usual. He and his family will be celebrating at home New Year’s Eve, screening The Wizard of Oz.
Finally, one of my all-time favorites, Richard W. Noone of Ellijay, Ga., the author of 5/5/2000–a book that predicts the Earth’s crust will shift grotesquely on May 5, 2000, as part of a series of planetary upheavals that usher in a new Ice Age. Noone doesn’t think Y2K amounts to much relative to a solar storm that will reach its peak this spring, just prior to the larger May 5 calamity. “A billion-ton wave of superhot, electrically charged gas will be ejected from the sun and crash into the Earth’s magnetic field at 620 miles per second,” he told me. “The coming Solar Max will disrupt radio, telephone, satellites, airlines.” Noone was the only person I talked to who literally expects a superdisaster in 2000, so it was with a special sense of anticipation that I asked: What’s he doing New Year’s Eve? “I will be … ” Cough, cough. ” … celebrating at home.”
That makes 100 percent for “staying at home.” Sounds like a landslide. Whatever you decide to do, good luck with it, and have a safe and happy millennial transition.
