It was in the old days in Atlantic City
& as the icy rain began to clear the boardwalk
Of even the most desolate stragglers
I pulled my ultra-cool thrift store fedora
Down low over my eyes & just kept on walking
& as I passed an old storefront painted up
Like a fortune teller’s bazaar its ancient bricks
Covered in narrow stripes of orange and lavender
As if it were a gypsy’s rippling tent
The old woman inside said softly to me the words
Come try & nothing else but after a few steps
I turned & went back & stepped out of the rain
To face her across the small round table
Where she sat shuffling a bent pack of Tarot cards
Sit down she said & of course I did just that
& as she laid the cards out slowly before her
She quietly rocked a little in her chair
Then she told me the story of the future I might hold
& as she spoke the room filled with a light
As thick as the mist outside & softly lavender
As softly lavender as an electric summer sunset
Down at the beach with maybe Stella or even Renata
& the gypsy’s eyes closed & my own eyes too
As she said You will sit in the throne of Heaven
& die into the open arms of your Lord
Well that’s really nice I thought
All this death shit & not a word about sex or money
But I couldn’t open my eyelids for a second
& when I did the mist had cleared although a faint
Scent remained of my grandmother’s lavender sachet
& the gypsy’s hand was out so I slapped down a five
Then got out before she told me something else
I didn’t want to know but I was worse than chilly now
A little bent out of shape & leery of the way
The night was coming down so black along the streets
I just knew I couldn’t go on to work that night
So I turned back & started heading home thinking
How Stella would be pissed I’d spent that five spot
On the gypsy not to mention I’d be back
Early with no money from the shift I couldn’t do
But maybe we’d go out to the movies
We hadn’t done that since I’d been made a night clerk
That would make her happy I thought the movies
& then a drink at Jake’s to make up for the fact
We’d be broke again next week for sure
& as I opened the door to our apartment
I swear I could smell the scent of lavender
& that same mist began rolling through the living room
& I could hear them then in the back bedroom
Making those little fucking sounds so fucking softly
So fucking tenderly it made me want to scream
But I just walked through the kitchen & grabbed
The ice pick off the counter where Stella’d
Left it after chipping ice flakes for their drinks
& as I came to the open bedroom door
I stood there for a second but
They didn’t notice me her legs fiercely bicycling
The air & he was jack-hammering away at her
So I just stepped up beside the bed & punctuated
This happy dream with a few decisive holes
To let the lavender air out of the moment
& I’m not kidding as I watched the two of them
Stretched out silently across the damp mattress
I could actually see the mist clearing again
& again I could finally breathe a little
So none of the rest of this really matters
& you reading this matter least of all
Because I am the one man who knows my simple
Future & all of the rest of you must live in the pain
Of not knowing of not believing what comes
Will be finally not so different from my own
Wild glory as I come to sit at last upon
My own Lordly throne so carefully hewn
Of precious woods & polished by the sweat of men
Who before me have mistakenly believed only
They were worthy of this journey I welcome
As I am fitted with those perfect leather straps
A helmet wired to the future & charged by the grace
Of God & the Governor to carry me into that Heaven
I was promised one distant lavender
Night