An Incredibly Bizarre Beauty Product Quiz in Honor of Lady Gaga’s New Perfume

News of Lady Gaga’s new perfume Fame, which hit shelves this week, has been full of rumors. Does it contain blood and semen? Will it really smell like hookers and “tears of belladonna,” as the pop star claimed on her Twitter feed? Belladonna—aka Deadly Nightshade—probably isn’t in Fame. But even if it were, we would have trouble knowing. Most U.S. fragrance companies are protected from detailing the real contents of their products. Nonetheless, there are many beauty products that do reveal their truly weird ingredients. Take our quiz and see if you can guess which bizarre items these products actually contain.
Nautica Oceans contains what ocean-themed ingredient?

A. Sand crystals from the Caribbean

B. Aerosol made from the pristine Atlantic winds off of Portugal

C. Whale vomit

D. Water from the depths of the Arctic Ocean
Correct answer: C. Whale vomit

Sperm whale vomit, or ambergris, has long been used as a binding agent in perfumes and fragrances. The magical $20-per-gram ingredient, sometimes referred to as “floating gold,” apparently helps sperm whales digest sharp items like squid beaks. The price may drop soon: Scientists recently developed a reliable synthetic substitute with the help of chemical compounds from balsam fir trees.
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Michael Todd Cosmetics KNU anti-aging cream features what animal product?

A. Baby rabbits feet from Scotland

B. Snail secretions

C. Electric eel plasma

D. Ground-up Pacific starfish
Correct answer: B. Snail secretions

Snail secretion filtrate, often imported from southern Chile, supposedly serves the same purpose for humans as it does for the shell-dwellers: defense from cell damage. The Helix aspersa muller, or Chilean garden snail, can rapidly repair damage to its organ and skin with the help of this special secretion.
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DuWop Lip Venom plumps the lips with the help of what food item?

A. Marshmallow gelatin

B. Orange zest

C. Banana peels

D. Hot pepper oil
Correct answer: D. Hot pepper oil

The product description says DuWop “uses essential oils to enhance lips’ natural color and shape by increasing circulation.” Herbalists have long used capsaicin, the active ingredient in cayenne peppers, to increase blood flow. Putting it on your lips seems like a form of self-torture, but there’s good news: DuWop avoids many of the artificial products favored by competitors.
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Uguisu no fun, a popular beauty product in Japan and more recently the United States, translates literally as …?

A. Monkey spit

B. Nightingale feces

C. Tuna brains

D. Bear snot
Correct answer: B. Nightingale feces

Also called “Geisha facial,” this pricy product also sometimes includes rice bran for exfoliating purposes. Used as a beauty aid in Japan for hundreds of years, the modern version is harvested from caged birds that eat a strict diet of organic seeds. Fortunately, the guano is sterilized under UV light and the rice bran cuts down on what is reportedly a “slightly musky odor.”
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Biomedical company Intercytex’s anti-aging treatment Vavelta uses which item?

A. Newborn baby toenails

B. Leftover baby foreskin

C. Lizard eyes

D. Puppy tears
Correct answer: B. Leftover baby foreskin

Nooooo! Yes. In the quest for helping us maintain—or obtain—a youthful image, Intercytex started clinical trials in 2008 that injected patients with microscopic skin cells cultured from babies’ foreskins. Don’t worry though—the foreskins aren’t being harvested while the babies sleep—they’re donated at the hospital, and the donors (as well as their mothers) are screened first. An $1,161 vial of the stuff—which features the cells treated with enzymes—can apparently make skin smoother and more resilient.
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Abyssine Cream+, made by natural skincare company Kiehl’s, is made with what hard-to-harvest “skin soothing” ingredient?

A. White Amazonian clay dredged from the sediment of Marajo island in Brazil

B. Molecules taken from hydrothermal vents 3,000 meters under the ocean

C. Crushed up fossilized mint leaves from the Paleolithic period
Correct answer: B. Molecules taken from hydrothermal vents

Abyssine Cream+ features the “survival molecule,” a polysaccharide derived from microorganisms found near hydrothermal vents that were discovered around the Galapagos … “where the algae is able to adapt itself to the harshest conditions.” Don’t feel bad though if you picked A., white Amazonian clay. The Rare Earth pore minimizing collection from Kiehl’s, a different set of products, uses this ingredient.
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Sometimes a drug that fails to succeed at its original purpose will get recycled as a beauty product. Which of the following is a key part of Elizabeth Arden’s Prevage skincare line?

A. An Alzheimer’s medication

B. A hair-growth treatment for men formerly known as “miracle bro”

C. A powder intended to reduce blood pressure

D. A synthetic hormone designed to prevent acne
Correct answer: A. An Alzheimer’s medication

Idebenone was originally developed for treating Alzheimer’s disease and other cognitive defects, including muscular dystrophy—but so far the results have been mixed. Some claim the drug has antioxidant properties, which is where Prevage comes in, because antioxidants supposedly fight off damage to the body.
CREDIT: Fvasconcellos/Wikimedia Commons.
Mother’s Moon Milk Soap is made with what rich liquid?

A. Particles harvested on the moon

B. Human breast milk

C. The milk of albino sloths

D. Sheep placenta
Correct answer: B. Human breast milk

Homemade soaps made using actual human breast milk, touted for its holistic healing properties, are a recent trend in soap-making. Some of us might feel weird about cleaning ourselves with strangers’ breast milk, but hey—we don’t judge.

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Gwyneth Paltrow has reportedly enjoyed using a skincare treatment that involves what form of deadly liquid?

A. Viper venom
B. Scorpion venom
C. Sap from a tree called the “Medusahead tree”
D. Black widow venom
Correct answer: A. Viper venom

Paltrow reportedly gets her dose of snake venom through a treatment that runs about $450 and includes a cleanse, a massage, and a mask. But you can get one with the synthetic version, “syn-ake” thanks to Sonya Dakar’s more affordable Ultraluxe-9 Age Control Complex, which inhibits muscle activity and supposedly prevents wrinkles. Yikes.
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