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How Will It End, Charlie Sheen?

A Robert Downey-type recovery? A Lindsay Lohan-esque netherworld? Mel Gibson-style infamy? Or worse?

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Video: Slate V imagines a scene from Two and a Half Men with new dialogue, from Charlie Sheen's recent rants.

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Christopher Beam is a writer living in Beijing.

Photograph by Riccardo S. Savi/Getty Images.